Have you ever had a dream that you didn't want to wake up from?

Before I forget y'all go check out The Only Parent Chronicles please! I did a guest post for her and it's all about Louisiana! So go on over and leave some love!
 
Now on to the serious post. I'll warn you now that it may sound a bit depressing, so if you don't want to hear it...leave now!

I woke up from the most amazing dream this morning. It was so amazing that I didn't want to wake up! I dreamed that God decided to give me another week with my Mom. She was so beautiful, she was still bald but she had the most amazing smile.

She told me how proud she was of me, and my Son. She couldn't get over how well Rusty turned out. She just kept going on and on about how proud she is that he's such a good (young) man.

She told me how happy she was for me that I found Mr Man, and that she couldn't have picked anyone better for me if she tried. She said that he's everything she ever wished that I'd find in a man. She said that she could tell how happy I am with him. She said she loves him.

She told me that she's happy, she's not in pain anymore and she lives in a beautiful place with my little Sister now. And then she died again.

I woke up bawling my eyes out. I cried for a hour. I mean...what a beautiful yet cruel dream!! She died again?? Are you kidding me? Did I really have to go through that all over again?

When I turned on the TV the Today show was on. I never watch the Today show, NEVER! I'm a Good Morning America girl, if anything. Usually I don' watch the morning news though. Anyway, there was a story about the Jack and Jill Late Stage Cancer foundation. You have to go and check their website out! I don't know how, but somehow I'm getting involved with this organization!

I'm just going to focus on the part where she said she is happy and no longer in pain. I love you Momma!

I know you like it...

I haven't been feeling well for the last couple of days, the weather has my muscles screaming in protest so I haven't been feeling like doing much of anything. I've been up since Monday morning...not a wink of sleep!
So...since I'm not feeling my "normal" shut up self I'm doing another one of my "Well huh!" entries. Why "well huh?" That would be beca

A friend of mine and I were talking last night and she was telling me about this TERRIBLE pick up line that she got the other night while she was out at a club. It made me think of the worst pick up line I've ever gotten! Would you like to know the worst pick up line I've ever gotten was? (Sure you do!)

Said in one of the WORST country hick accents I've ever heard: (think of Larry the Cable Guy, now that I think of it he kind of looked like him too, just add a cowboy hat!)

"Hot damn darlin'!! How 'bout I take you out to my pick up so I can brand your ass??? My reply? (For some reason this too was said in a country hick accent..I have no idea why!)

"Well DAMN Tex!! I just got my ass branded last night, right out in the parking lot, WAIT...that wasn't you was it? No...it couldn't have been you! I woke up this morning with more than just my ass hurting *wink,wink* But aren'tyou a doll for asking anyway!" He stumbled off mumbling something about a fuckin' bitch but I can't imagine who he was talking about!!

*Why do men sound like a f*ckin' elephant when they blow their noses? Oh come on! You know you've noticed it too!

 *I saw a commerical last night for some eye drops, at the end of the commerical they were saying what the side effects are and then they said "Not approved for Herpes viral infections of the eye." You can get herpes in your eyes??? Dayum!! Imagine explaining that one! "Well you see, what I was doin' was..."

Shrimp Taco's at Taco bell...

Because you'd love to eat shrimp that's been sitting out all day.  Yeah...don't worry about food poisoning hun! That makes about as much sense as their "Drive Thru Diet!"

  

This is the pic on their web site:

 Wow! That's some big ol' shrimp there!
 

This is a pic of the "same taco from a review blog:

Handerpants

Umm...what the hell and why?? Though their web site does say that they're good for 100's of uses!

Dog/Kitty Wigs

People if you have enough money to buy a wig for your cats, adopt me yo...for realz!!

  (This one just screams Bob Marley!)

This dog is dreaming of killing you when it sleeps!

I had a teacher with a "rug" like this!

Is it just me or does she remind you of Paris Hilton??

The Drib

It's a driving bib! Are you really that messy of an eater?

Wine glass holder necklace

Ok so I'm not even going to make a joke about this one! I can think of a few occasions where this could come in handy! Hell...they're stylish too!

Mobile Massage System

Cause everyone wants to look like a Ninja Turtle right?

Lay-Z-Spa

It's a ghetto hot tub y'all! Wurd!

Wonder Sauna Hot Pants

It's a party in your pants yo!

Off Road Commode

It hooks to your trailer hitch Bubba! Golly boy...you're moving up in the world! Hot damn! Next thing you know you'll be gettin' a cement pond!

Designer Plunger

What color would you pick??

Nothing

Because you can never have too much nothing!

Lifegem Created Diamond

Don't know what to do with Mom's ashes? Give that bitch your finger!!

Cremation Solutions

Need an urn for hubby's ashes? Well gurl...have we got a treat for you! We can make you an urn that is an exact replica of his head, they come in three sizes too. I would suggest the full sized version, it's the size of hubbys head and large enough to hold all of his ass! Personally...I'd use that bitch as a cookie jar!

Chair Socks

Hey...maybe their feet are cold! All the other chairs in your neighborhood will be jealous!!

Nasty Bags

Tired of your co workers eating your lunch? Try these handy sandwhich bags with "mold spots" built in.

Gucci Ice Trays

Well everythin else you own is covered in those sweet G's, you just HAVE to have these too right?

Bacon Vodka

Pure.Refreshing.Bacon! Oooo weee! We's gonna party tonight bubba! Now hand me that Baby Back Rib flavored beer! Gaww!

And last but not least...Makin' Bacon!! It's bacon flavored lube!! For fucks sake people...no really!! It IS for fucks sake! I'm all about the flavors but bacon? That's just wrong on so many levels! 

Hope you all have a great day!

Snoring and linking...it's a full service blog...

Before I begin my post I just had to share this video with you guys! Lmao....Bonsai's snoring is getting out of hand. I swear I think she knows that I'm video taping her though because she get's as quiet as she possibly can (as quiet as this pug is gonna get anyway), the minute I stop videoing her...she starts snoring like 10 men again! But still...you can see how loud she is here....



Funny right?

Anysnoring....I've decided to link up with Ian today over at Daily Dose of Reality for the Monday Minute.

Why did you start blogging?
I was in a very abusive relationship and didn't know where to turn, so I turned to blogging and some of the people that I met there gave me the strength to get out. It/they saved me.

Name one other blogger and list their URL that deserves special attention for whatever reason you choose.
I'm gonna say Danica at Happy girl...she recently had a hysterectomy and she's dealing with all the fun stuff that comes with it!

Name one of your heroes in life. Someone that you know or knew personally
My oldest Sister Denise. She's the defination of strength and beauty!

Whose feet smell worse, yours or mine?
Yours...dayum!!

Which TV show's setting would you most like to live in?
Brothers and Sisters...wine country baby!

I had a great weekend with Mr Man. I'll write more about it tomorrow! There's some shit I've really been needing to get off my chest but not really sure what good it'll do me. Until then.....

I'm A Happy Lil' Cajun Today.....

Today Mr Man and I sat down and purchased my tickets (and rental car) to go home to Louisiana to see my Son and family!! I'm super excited today! Also DeAnn is going to be coming down there for the weekend to party at the Sugar Cane Festival with me!! And Leiah is supposed to be coming down sometime over that weekend too.  Kimber has also mention that she may come down!! We'll just have us a good ol' blogger party lol! I'm excited to meet them all!

Yesterday I ran over my foot my my huge ass coffee table, I swear I thought I broke my foot. I just bruised the hell out of it! Ouch!

Tonight Mr Man and I watch the UFC on pay per view and I'm making  mexican pizza and buffalo chicken pizza. I'm just gonna snuggle up next to him and enjoy the night!

Hope you're all having a great weekend! Much love and peace....

It's not so funny is it??

I know that most of you are used to the "funnier" side of me so I'm going to apologize in advance for the Debbie downer'ish nature of today's entry. I'm sure by tomorrow I'll be back to my normal, quirky self.

I've been going through something, to be honest with you I don't even know what to call "it." Well, not until yesterday anyway. I just haven't been feeling myself. Like I've been "removed" from myself. God...I hate even trying to explain it because every time I do it sounds dumb as hell. Trust me, Mr Man has been asking me for the last couple of days what's going on with me...I just don't know how to explain it.

At first I thought it was just a really bad case of  fibro fog, but I thought it couldn't last this long but I read that article (the link) this morning and found out that it can when I googled it to put the link in here for it). But I still don't think that's what it is.

Remember how I said I'd stopped taking my meds a while back and that I had to start them back up again? One of the meds I'm on is Paxil (for anxiety...I don't know why my Dr just wont give me Xanax's and get it over with! I know they work!!). Well I was thinking about that today and I realized that when I was on it years ago it made me lethargic, depressed almost to the point of being suicidal and it made me hallucinate (not in the trippy way that you would if you were on acid, not that I know anything about that lol). I told my current Dr this but she said that they probably had me on the wrong dosage, she'd never heard of anyone having all of those side effects.

I know that this is a good part of what's wrong with me. As of today...I'm not taking that shit anymore. The last time medicine made me feel like this I got out of my bed at 1am and went outside, I didn't know for what I started looking around in our garage, through all of my ex's tools and hunting stuff. I didn't know how long I'd been out there. All I know is all of a sudden it's like I "snapped out of it" and realized that I was looking for a rope...to hang myself with. This is gonna sound crazy but it almost felt like I was in a trance, like I wasn't in control of what I was doing.I sobbed....for hours.  It scared me worse than anything I'd ever been through up until that point, and trust me...I've been through A LOT.

That was one of the single most defining moments of my life. I'd NEVER had thoughts like that before. Hell I'd always joked with my sisters and said that if anything ever happened to me and they said it was suicide, if I passed away any way other than OD'ing on sleeping pills, I DIDN'T DO IT! Lmao...(Cause hell, if you're gonna do it...why not go to sleep and never wake up??) I swore I'd never let myself get like that again.

So yeah, I'm not taking that shit anymore. But that's not all that's wrong with me. I know I'm a little depressed for reasons not even connected to the meds.

I'm lonely, I miss my family, my friends, hell everyone back home! I get like this usually when it's been 6 months or longer since I've gone back for a visit. I could go home tomorrow for a visit, but I'm trying to wait until September before I go. It's the one time of year that I know my (globe trotting) sister and her husband will be in town. I always seem to miss them when I go home...they're always on some exotic trip/cruise or another. I'm starting to get a complex I know they'll be home because it's during the sugar cane festival, and their restaurant/bar is super busy during this time so they can't just go galavantin' all over the world at this time!!

If I wait until September like I'm planning to, then I'll also be there for my Mom's birthday. I haven't been able to visit my Mom's grave on her birthday since I moved. I'm looking forward to that...OK that sounded nuts didn't it? Lol...you know what I mean! I means a lot to me to be able to go on her birthday.

But yeah...I'm lonely for a little female companionship, for someone (here) to confide in, for someone to hang out with and just be me. Like I used to do with my big Sister Denise and her bestie Melly Mel (Melanie) before I moved. We used to get together once, and sometimes twice if one of us was having a bad day, a week for the "Tuesday Night Book Club on Wednesday's."

Lol...I'm not sure how we came up with that name. More than likely Melly Mel said it and it just stuck. Lmao...we didn't read any books, that was just our "excuse" for getting together. At first we called it our Tuesday night bible study on Wednesday's...but that just didn't seem right lol.

We would sit outside under my sister's patio in these really cool hanging "hammock chairs" that she has and just share a bottle (or four) of wine, a few stories, and a million laughs. It was so relaxing...well other than the notorious Louisiana mosquito's trying to eat you alive. It was so fun to just sit around and enjoy the company of a couple of really cool chicks never tell my Sister I said she's cool and laugh and joke around.

I miss it. I miss just sitting around with some cool chicks, shootin' the shit...laughing and joking. I have never had trouble making friends before..not until I moved here. I've been in NC for almost four years and I still can't say that I have a "best friend" here. There's one girl (that I used to work with) who will come by from time to time, we get together and go shopping or tanning every now and then. But she's young (23)...I'm 40 we're on two totally different levels.

Don't get me wrong, I love her to death. I love that she comes to me for advice. I love that she loves my jambalaya so much that she wont even ask me for the recipe because she knows she'll never cook it as good as I do (bless her heart, I love her for that one). I love that she usually raids my closet and nail polish every time she comes by.

I'm sure that most of you that are my age (or older hehe) can understand what I mean. I would just like to meet a few women who were closer to my age and that I had more in common with. When I hang out with Jess I usually end up just feeling like "the old chick!" Which kinda defeats the purpose lol.

Wow...I didn't realize how long this has gotten. Sorry about that. Let me just say, this wasn't meant as one of those "woe is me" entries. I guess I didn't realize how bad I just needed to get it all out. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to do just that!

OK...stop playing your fucking violins for me, you're giving me a fucking headache...someone crack a joke PLEASE!! Lol... 

I'm Not An Asshole But I Did Stay At The Holiday Inn Express Last Night....

I know that everyone gets sick of me talking about how perfect Mr Man is all the time so I thought I'd take part in (another one of) Lee's great idea(s) "My husband is so..."

  

If you don't know about Lee already what rock have you been living under?  She's this amazeballs chick over at Headaches, Hormones and Hotflashes. Go check her out....she's hilarious!

So... if I had to search finding a flaw in this man is not an easy task for a "flaw" in him it would have to be hands down his road rage!

Here's a list of offenses that can set him off quicker than shit:

* Driving slow in the left lane - COME ON BUDDY!!! If you want to drive that f*cking slow that's what the f*cking right lane is for you f*cking moron! (Sexy right? The "sailor" comes out of him when he's driving! It's hot in an Officer and A Gentleman kinda way!)

*Talking on the cell phone/text messaging - Oh boy! You've done it now! You've opened up a can of worms with this one! HANG UP THE F*CKING PHONE AND DRIVE!!!

*Pulling out in front of him - You're so F*CKING lucky that he doesn't ram his F150 up your ass...wow that totally doesn't sound right! You get the point though...

*The speed up/slow down dance - Really? I try to pass you up and you speed up, then you slow down, then you speed up...you Redneck piece of shit!

*Not using your blinkers/turn signals - Hey "Nice turn signal asshole!" God...he's good with words aint he?

* People weaving in and out of the lane they're in -This  COULD mean they're drinking and driving, but chances are they're f*cking  text messaging which we've covered already but I'll reiderate...

Tailgating - Would you like to buy us a new truck dickwad?? Cause I'll totally slam on my brakes if you'd like to rear end us. Ok...that doesn't sound right either!

*Those $200 pieces of shit cars with the $1000 stereo  LOUD ass music...so loud that all we can hear is this horrible vibrating noise, seriously dude that car is gonna fall apart one day from all the vibrations! Thanks for sharing how you're gonna slap your ho, pop a cap in dudes ass all while smoking a slpiff!! Even though we may find your music touching we're already listening to our radio and that vibrating...really it's starting toooo...oops! Never mind!

*Tapping your brakes - Damn it! Did your momma drop you on your head or something when you were little?? WTF are you doing?

 * Cutting us off - Oh no you Di'int!!

 In short people, if you happen to be on the road with us please have some respect, don't you know that MR MAN is on the road? Bow to the king damn it! hehehe love you baby!

All of these offenses will normally result in yelling,

Shooting of the bird, 

 The fist pump in a Jersey Shore kind of way... so not attractive babe!!

The hurry up and pass them up only to pull up next to them and "mean muggin" them or my favorite, the shaking of the head! Ooohh...that really told them! Can't you just see the fear on their faces? Especially that 80 year old lady who should have lost her license 30 years ago!!! You showed her!! Lol... love you baby! 

 Lol...all joking aside going on a simple trip to VA is a pain in the ass. We get so little time to spend together and when we do if were going anywhere, he's acting like he's the Incredible  road raging Hulk! It kind of makes for a shitty day! I just don't see the point of all the yelling and shit! It's so romantical and shit yo! Don't get me wrong, I'll totally tell your ass off if you cut me off or such but I don't do it with almost every.single.car!

The only time I don't mind his road rage is when we're on the Harley. Seriously people you REALLY have to watch for bikes...you can't just pull out in front of one damn it! Then you'll see ME turn into a bad ass biker chick lol.

But...if that's the only flaw that I can find in Mr Man I know, you hate me then I should just consider me lucky! And hell...maybe the bumper sticker he has on the back of his truck is true....

  The last time he got pulled over the cop really liked that one! (No he doesn't get pulled over all the time) Lol...I guess it's better than the one on his back window..

. 

Oh the things you can find at bike week lol! His actually says "you don't have to be dead to donate your organ." And really, that's totally lame compaired to the ones on his motorcycle helmet! WOW!

So that's my "My Husband Is..." story! If you're like to buy a book of Road Rage Cards you can do so here. Cause really...when you're driving and you get road rage there's nothing better than pulling out a book of cards that you have to look at and flip through to find the one that will express how you're feeling while.you're.driving lol! I'll leave you with a few more of the lovely road rage posters!

 Lol..funny!

 Didn't they teach you that in elementary school?

Didn't have your Wheaties this mornin' did ya?? 

 Wow...you're really passionate about littering huh?

Hey freak....you got some 'splainin to do!!

 And you know this because???

Sorry Mr Man...you're not allowed to take my gun in the car!!

 Just in case you have dyslexia!

Oh no honey!! You don't look like a fucking idiot with your road rage  flash cards! 

Lol...have a great hump day y'all!