We Want to Know

May 25, 2011


It's that time of the week again, so grab the little button up there and play along. Go ahead, do it.

{1} What must you do before you go to bed at night?
Usually I have to read a little bit before I can fall asleep. If I don't I'll lay there and toss and turn for a couple of hours before falling asleep. 

{2} What is one thing you must snack on at the theater?

Popcorn, smothered in butter lol. I'm not big on candy but I love me some good ol' popcorn. 

{3} Before going on vacation what must you do?

Overpack. Everytime I'm getting ready for a trip I swear I'm not going to overpack. I always end up doing it anyway. Find someone to come and take care of Bebe's kids our dogs. It's not always easy either. Lol they're BAD. 

{4} What is one thing you must do every day?

Get on FB, talk to my Son, kiss my hubby. Not in that particular order. 

{5} Is there something you do that must be done in a particular order?

Umm...I have to wash my hair when I first get in the shower. I wash it, then put in my conditioner and then I can bathe myself. Can't be done the other way around.  

Gotta Get It Out!

May 20, 2011

I confess...
I'm going on day 2 of no sleep. Again. This is the second time this week that I've stayed up for two days straight. I'm not sure why my insomnia is running wild again. But I don't like it.

I confess...
I really want to go to the OBX today. I just want to spend the day walking on the beach. And sitting on the beach just listening to the waves crash. It's a natural relaxer for me.

I confess...
Since I'm going on day 2 of no sleep and I'm pretty much delirious, I seriously doubt if I'll be dragging my behind to the beach today. Knowing my luck, that "natural relaxer" would knock my ass out and I'll fall asleep on the beach. I'd be laying there drooling all over myself while all the sexy people walk by. We wont even talk about the sunburn my "lucky" ass would get.

I confess...
I'm so freakin' glad that Haley got kicked off of AI. I just didn't think she was as good as the other two. And honestly, she irked me. I don't know why, she just did. Though, I'll admit....the girl rocked the hell out of that Led Zepplin song.

I confess...
Y'all are going to be seeing my picture on the evening news soon (looking all bug eyed and delirious due to lack of sleep. And craziness.) if our Pugs don't chill the hell out. I swear, we have to fuss at them all damn day long. One of them looks like she has the damn mange cause she's got "hot spots" and wont stop scratching. Grrr...

I confess...
I've been on a crazy crafting kick lately. It's like crack. It's wack. But fun.

I confess...
About a month ago I decided that I was going to try to grow houseplants from an avocado and a sweet potato. My Mom use to grow them all the time so I figured why not. My sweet potato finally has some tiny vines coming out of the side of it.

The avocado...RIP. This was the second time I've tried to grown one from a seed and I've failed miserably both times. The damn thing (the seed) just seems to shrivel up. I have no idea what I'm doing wrong. But it's pissing me off. I've got mad skills in the green thumb department

I confess...
I need a vacation. I don't know why but I've just been feeling really stressed lately. And there's no reason to be. Things are going really good here at home (besides the damn Pugs), Hubby and I are doing great. I dunno what it is.

I confess...
I need some sleep. But...it's not happening tonight. Well, actually this morning since it's 3 am.

Now that you've listened to me bare my soul, click on that little button below and go to confession.


We Want to Know...

May 18, 2011


{1} If you could choose a Super Power, what would it be?
Invisibility...are you kidding me? Lol I'd love it!

{2} What would be your first frivolous purchase if you were awarded a million dollars tomorrow? (and don't say "that's not a lot of money", it sounds pretentious)
Tickets for Mr Luvah and I to go to Louisiana for an extended trip to see my family. Then I'd buy a house. 

{3} What would be the hardest current luxury for you to give up?
Lmao...the internet!! Or the Buckin's (Starbucks)

{4} If you were given a choice between being given great wisdom and great wealth, which would you choose?
Wealth...hell I can pay someone to be smart for me! Lol...

{5} I you were to be stranded on a deserted island for 100 days what 5 THINGS would you pack?
My Son, I'd fold his 6'5" behind up in a suitcase if I had to! My ipod with an unlimited battery, a deck of cards (I can entertain myself for hours with solitaire), lots of cigarettes, and lots of Xanax lol!

Haven't Done This In a While...

May 17, 2011

Only Parent Chronicles

I Confess...

May 13, 2011


I confess...

That Blogger was working my last damn nerve last night!

I confess...

I confess...hubby and I picked up three cases of canned goods for the Stamp Out Hunger Drive that the postal service is holding. You should too. You still have time. You can leave a bag or box on or near your mail box tomorrow and your mail carrier will pick it up!

I confess... 

I have extremely dry skin. EXTREMELY.

It's one of the reasons that I rarely wear dresses and shorts. Cause I can put lotion on and 20 minutes later I'm looking all ashy again lol.

I confess... 

I figured since I got this cute little number...

for my friend Jessica's wedding tomorrow I had to do something to de-ashify (yeah...it's a word. in my world!) my legs.

I confess...

 {not the actual scrub I made. I didn't want to use her image without asking first so I just got one from Google Images.}

I found this recipe for Sunshine Sugar Scrub and holy hell is it yummy. It feels amazing while you're using it. Your skin feels like butta when you're finished. And you smell pretty damn yummy to boot! Love it! 

I confess...

That's all I have to confess today. Hope you all have a great weekend!

The Monster Inside Me...

May 11, 2011

In support of Fibromyalgia Awareness Day I'm going to do something that I've done before on my blog. I'm going to tell the story of when I was diagnosed and what I go through.

Let me begin by saying that post isn't meant to gain your sympathy and I'm not asking you to feel sorry for me. I don't want you to. We all have struggles in life that we have to learn to deal with. This is mine.

Fibromyalgia (FMS) isn't something that I've liked to talk a lot about on my blog because I don't want it to define who I am. I always (try to) say "I have FMS, it doesn't have me!"  I don't want to spend the rest of my life feeling sorry for myself for having this. I want to live as much as I can on the good days and rest as much as I can on the "fibro" days.

When I first started noticing symptoms almost 9 years ago I was in an abusive marriage. It only got physical once, right at the end of our marriage. But the verbal, and emotional abuse happened every single day. My ex was an alcoholic and a Rx drug addict.

I started noticing that I seemed to be in constant pain. That my muscles always seemed tense, and that my muscles always hurt. When my hands started going numb and I started dropping even the smallest of things I knew something was wrong and that I needed to go to the doctor.

Thank God I had a doctor who knew about Fibromyalgia. There are a lot of doctors out there who don't even believe in it. Doctors who think "it's all in our head!" When I told my doctor what was going on with me the first thing he said is "I'm almost positive you have Fibromyalgia!" I'd never even heard of it.

He said he wanted to run some test on me, and that he'd have to do an exam to be sure. I didn't panic until he said that he was going to be testing me for MS and Lupus.

All that I could think about was "What if I have MS?" "If I end up in a wheel chair I'm going to have to depend on him (the ex) to take care of me?" Then I started going through the whole "if he's this abusive now, can you imagine how bad it will be when you're totally dependent on him?"

I did the worst thing that I could have possibly done. I went home and I Googled MS, Lupus, and Fibromyalgia. That just sent me into full on panic mode. And full on self preservation mode. I decided that I had to take care of myself because I couldn't depend on anyone else to take care of me.

I started turning everyone away, pushing everyone away. I didn't want anyone to feel like I was a burden on them.

In the month that it took for all of the testing and the results I went into a severe depression and I didn't even realize it. No one did. I got so lost in the "what ifs" that I forgot how to live.

I begged my ex to come to my appointment with me to get the results from all the test. I don't know why I did. It was just one more opportunity for him to hurt me. I ended up going alone. I was scared to death of what I was going to find out.

When the doctor gave me all the test results and the results of the MRI I was in a daze. It wasn't as bad as he thought, but it was worse than I thought I was going to get, considering I was getting the "good news" out of all the things it could have been.

I was told "You have Fibromyalgia,  dehydration of the disc, degenerative disc disease, Neuroforaminal Narrowing, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and Arnold–Chiari malformation. I didn't know what any of these things were besides Fibromyalgia but none of it sounded like good news to me.

I cried all the way home. Even though my ex treated me like he hated me, for some dumb reason I thought I could go home and turn to him, that I could lean on him and cry on his shoulder. When I told him what the doctor said he looked at me and said "You might as well go kill yourself now!"

For the first two years after my diagnosis I was in more pain that I could ever describe to you. Most weeks I spent four out of seven days laying in bed, in so much pain that I could hardly walk. Sometimes, I couldn't even wear clothes, they hurt me. Just having a sheet to cover me touching my skin hurt so bad that I'd cry.

Because I felt like everyone else was living life while mine was on hold, the depression got even worse. I still didn't even realize that I was depressed. The worse my condition got, the worse the abuse got. My husband hated me. He couldn't stand the site of me. He took pleasure in making me cry. It was his favorite thing to do besides drink and take drugs.

One of the "treatments" that doctors usually start with is anti-depressants. I couldn't understand why my doctor put me on them along with the pain pills (that didn't even help), the anti inflammatorys, the steroids, the sleeping pills, the anxiety meds, and the muscle relaxers. At one point I was taking 17 pills a day, more if I was in a lot of pain.

I can't even begin to tell you how many times my meds were changed, or how many different meds I've tried. There were that many. You have to remember that I was married to a drug addict at the time. He took a lot of my meds. At first he was sneaking them. So I started hiding them in my pillowcase when I went to bed at night. Finally he said that since he paid for them he wanted half of them. I didn't have the energy to argue with him anymore.

Right before he and I split up I was sitting at my computer one night (about 2am) and the next thing I knew I was outside in our garage. I don't know how I got out there, I don't remember walking out there. It's like I just "woke up" (snapped out of it...whatever "it" was) and I realized that I was out there looking for a rope to hang myself.

Now, let me tell y'all. It's always been a running joke between my Sisters and I, I've always told them "If I didn't die looking cute with my legs shaved, I DIDN'T DO IT!" Lol.... But really, I'd never in my life thought of hanging myself. Ever.

Needless to say, "waking up" and realizing what I was doing out there scared the ever living shit out of me. I stopped taking most of the meds the next day. I called my doctor and we made a new treatment plan. It was then that I also decided that I had to leave my husband. I couldn't live in that misery anymore.

Over the years my doctors have tried putting me on anti depressants again. One after another. And they all do the same thing. They make me suicidal. I even had one doctor that told me the suicidal thoughts were an allergic reaction. (I mean, how stupid does that sound??) I refuse to ever take them again. Never.

Once I left my ex amazing things started happening. The pain wasn't as bad anymore. It was then that my doctor and I realized that stress is a major "trigger" for my Fibromyalgia. Since I left him my pain level, even with the worst flare ups, isn't half as bad as it used to be.

Don't get me wrong, I'm in pain every single day. People often ask me "What does it feel like?" It's really hard to explain, and I can only speak for myself but I'll try to explain it to y'all.

It almost always feels like there's a monster inside me. Sometimes it feels like there is something inside my calves "chewing" on the muscles. Sometimes it feels like there are rocks in my hip joints, which makes walking incredibly painful. Sometimes it feels like someone is in my back slicing my muscles away from the bone, bit by tiny bit. Sometimes it feels like I have the worst case of the flue that you could imagine. Always, it hurts. Always, it's painful. That never changes.

There isn't a day that I don't have pain somewhere in my body. But it's not something that I can't live with. I guess over time you get accustomed to it.

I know people (with FMS) who are on some of the strongest pain meds you can get (oxy's), I could be on them too if I wanted to. Finding a doctor that will give them to you isn't all that hard. But I don't want to spend my life in a drug stupor.

Believe me, I know that there are people who have FMS that need those meds. And I don't begrudge them that. But there are also a lot of people who get addicted to these drugs.

It sickens me that I have to take a urine test every time I go to the doctor because there are so many people out there who are drug addicts and go to different doctors to try to get more meds. I don't get it honestly.

It's bad enough that I'm on Vicodin. I'm on the weakest dosage that you can get and I still hardly take them. My doctor gave me 60 of them in January and I still have half a bottle left. I only take them when I'm desperate for relief.

That's been one of my biggest arguments with my doctors.  I refuse to be on meds that I have to take on a daily basis. I'd rather be on something that I can take on an "as needed" basis. It works for me.

The main thing that I've learned about my FMS is that I know my body, I know my level of pain and I know what works for me.

I'd prefer to do physical therapy, do some easy exercises at home and to limit how far I push myself than be on a bunch of drugs that turn me into someone I don't even know.

What would I want other people to take away from this? There's a few things I'd like for y'all to know about people who suffer from FMS. It's often called an "invisible disibility." So try to take these things into consideration....

* Just because you can't see that I'm in pain doesn'tmean I'm not.

* I often have to cancel plans, or reschedule appointments because of FMS. Don't get angry about it, try to be a little more understanding. I promise that I'm more disappointed than you are.

* Sometimes, I need help. I hate admitting it. I hate asking for it.

* Understand that sometimes while life is going on around me I'm stuck inside this body. It's a very lonely feeling.

* Please don't pity me. I stopped feeling sorry for myself a long time ago.

* Being "sick" doesn't mean that I'm not human. I hate being alone. Having a friend or family member just come and spend the day with me watching movies, laying around (or whatever) would be great.

* This isn't all in my head. I'm not imagining it. My pain is real. Very real.

* I sometimes get irritable. Can you imagine being in chronic pain every single day? Please try to be patient with me.

* I sometimes try to fake having a good day, I hate feeling like I'm disappointing you, or letting you down.

* I can't control how often, or for how long I'm going to "feel good" or have a "good" day. A good day can turn into a "fibro" day within minutes. Trust me, I wish I could control it.

* Remember that just because I can do something today doesn't mean I'm going to be able to do it tomorrow.

* I try to make the most of every "good" day that I have and I usually end up paying for it the next day. Sometimes when I have a good day, the best thing I can do (for myself) is to just relax and enjoy the day. Not get out and push myself, because it makes the next day a flare up day. I'm not being lazy, just smart.

I hope that this post has helped some of you understand this condition better. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask! I'll leave you with this quote...

We Want to Know


It's my (new) favorite day of the week (for blogging that is lol). It's question time, cause we're all nosy like that! If you'd like to play along just click on the button above and have fun!

1. What game show have you always thought you could be on and totally WIN!

It's a toss up between


2. Do you have a tattoo(s)? What are they and what made you chose them? If not, would you get one, yes/no/why?

Yes, I have 7. I have one (maybe two lol) more that I'd like to get and then I think I'm done! This is the first one that I got...

{The tramp stamp...cheesy much?}

Yeah...I have a tramp stamp, don't judge me.

I hated it instantly. There wasn't supposed to be any black in it at all. You can't even see the colors in the butterfly. Last year (about 6 years after I got it) I covered it up with this...

This one's really special to me. My Mom's name was Rose. There are 4 open roses, one for my Mom, Me and my three Sisters. There are 4 buds, one for my Son and the other three are for my Sisters kids.

This was my next one... (after the butterfly fiasco)

{flaming cherries}

I loved it when I first got it, and I don't hate it now. Just seems kinda silly now. But hell, it's not like anyone sees it anyway lol. I used to collect cherry stuff. That's way back when I was still a skinny heifer. 

My next one was...

I got this one the year my Son graduated. I know, it's a terrible picture but I just had to go take this in the bathroom mirror because I can't find the pics hubby took of it when I got it. It's my Son's name (with a fleur de lis) and at the bottom it says "Mon Fils, Ma Vie" which means "My child, my life" in French. It's on my upper back just below my shoulders.

My next one was...

My Mom  and I both always had a thing for dragonflies and I just loved this one when my tattoo artist drew it up! I'd like to "expand" it further down onto my foot some more some day.

Next, I got these...

{faith and hope}

My Mom always said that if she had known she was having 4 girls she would have named us Faith, Hope, Charity and Miracle. So instead of putting my two older sisters names on my wrist I put Faith and Hope. With the fleur de lis (of course, we are from Louisiana after all!) in their favorite colors (which also happen to be their birthstones lol they didn't even notice that until I pointed it out). 

And the last one I've gotten (so far)...


My baby Sister's initials. Hubby had an appointment to get a tattoo last November 6th, which just happened to be the 22nd "anniversary" of my little Sister's death.  I decided to get this one while I was waiting for him to finish with his. It's on the back of my neck. 

I'd like to get one for my Dad. I'm thinking of getting a couple of Violet flowers on my left foot for him. There's a song he used to sing to us when we were little called "Sweet Violets!" 

3. What is your favorite piece of jewelry that you own?

My wedding ring...

{wow, it's so dirty and missing two diamonds at the moment. I've lost five diamonds out of it so far. I've only been married for two years. Grrr} 

My Mom's Sapphire and diamond ring that she left me...

 {I wont wear it though, I'm too scared I'll lose it}

The first piece of jewelry that my Son bought me...

{blue topaz necklace}

He got me this for my birthday when he got his first "summer job," he was 9. Awww... 

4. What is your driving pet peeve(s)?

 Anyone who's in front of me and is doing less that 5 mph over the speed limit lol.

5. What was your favorite sitcom growing up that you wish was still on?

{So no one told you life was gonna be this way}

Loved that show. I know, now you're gonna have that song stuck in your head all day lol! You're welcome! Haha! 

I Confess....

May 6, 2011


I confess...

I'm in a foul mood today. I wont even bother explaining why. Wouldn't do me a damn bit of good.

I confess...

My mini vaca to TN to see my Sister better get here fast. I need a break.

I confess...

Another Mother's day without my Son is more depressing that I can even describe.

I confess..

I'll probably spend Mother's day thinking about how much I wish my Mom was still here.

I confess...

I'm over it already. I was a long time ago truth be told.

I confess...

I haven't been sleeping good.

I confess...

I probably shouldn't be confessing. Especially since I can't confess what I really want to be confessing in here.

Happy Mother's day to all of the mother's out there.

SAS Cinco de Mayo Style

May 5, 2011

Think Tank Momma

When I saw that this weeks SAS theme was dedicated to Cinco de Mayo I got all kinds of happy. I love Mexican food, it's my favorite. I could eat it 7 days a week, no lie.

This recipe is quick, easy and yummy. I wont lie to y'all, it's probably not the healthiest meal in the world. It is fried after all lol. I found this recipe online and I've made them a couple of times, they're always a hit with everyone.

{Google Images - sorry for the poor quality pic, it was the only one I could find}


1 pound ground round
1 medium onion, diced
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 tablespoon chili powder
1/2 teaspoon oregano
1 teaspoon Tabasco sauce
24 egg roll skins
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 medium green bell pepper, diced
1 to 2 fresh jalapenos, seeded and chopped*
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon cumin
1/2 pound sharp cheddar cheese, grated
2 large egg whites, beaten
1/2 cup water 

In a heavy skillet begin to brown ground beef in 1 tablespoon oil.
Add onion, green pepper, garlic, jalapeno(s), salt, chili powder, cumin and oregano. Stir to combine and continue to stir until onion and pepper begin to soften; drain well.
Add water, cover and reduce heat. Continue to cook until dry, approximately 25 minutes.
Remove from heat and stir in grated cheese and Tabasco sauce.
Lay out all 24 egg roll skins flat with points facing you (like a diamond). Place 1 heaping tablespoon of meat and cheese mixture in center of each skin.
Fold bottom point of skin up to cover meat mixture. Fold left and right points into the center. Lastly, fold top point down to form a roll. Brush on beaten egg whites to seal.
Heat oil in deep fryer to 350°F (175°C). Cook rolls a few at a time in the fryer until brown (approximately 1 minute). 

Drain on paper towels.  I usually serve them with shredded lettuce and pico de gallo. I also make a dipping sauce by mixing a small container of sour cream with an equal amount of salsa. {I can't remember exact measurements lol.} It's really good. (Makes about 24 egg rolls) 

When  I searched Google for a pic of these egg rolls I found this recipe and I'm def gonna have to try. Don't they look delicious?

 {Google Images}


4 boneless, skinless chicken thighs
1 medium onion, diced
2 cloves of garlic, minced
3 tbsp canola oil
1 cup of frozen corn
1 cup canned black beans, rinsed and drained
4 1/2 oz of canned green chilis
2 serrano chili peppers, stemmed and seeded, finely diced
1/2 cup of cilantro, finely chopped
1/2 tsp cumin
1 tsp kosher salt
1/2 tsp black pepper
1 cup of shredded colby jack cheese
Egg roll wrappers
1 large egg, beaten
4 cups of canola oil
Fresh Guacamole
Fresh Salsa

Begin by adding three tablespoon of oil to a large skillet. Heat on medium to high heat then add in your chicken thighs. Cook for about 6 minutes per side, or until it is fully cooked. Remove and set them on a plate. Add in the onions, garlic, black beans, serrano chilies, green chilis, corn, cumin, and salt and pepper, and mix well. Add a bit of water, and cook on medium to low heat until the onions are tender, and the corn and beans are heated through.

Remove the mixture from the stove, and place into a large bowl and let cool. In the meantime, chop up the chicken thighs into fine pieces. Place the chicken into the bowl with the rest of the ingredients, and now add in the shredded cheese.

Heat a pot of oil on the stove to a medium high heat. Now it’s time to begin wrapping as the oil heats up.

Take a egg roll wrapper, with a point facing you, and add about four tablespoons of the mixture about two inches in from the nearest point to you. Fold over, tucking the mixture in, and begin rolling. When you have about 3 inches remaining, brush the egg mixture on the top most area, and on the sides. Fold over each side, tighten, then do your final roll. Make sure the roll is sealed by gently rubbing the final roll area, and making sure the egg mixture, or what I call the glue, adheres to the wrapper.

Repeat until the mixture is done. This makes about 12 egg rolls.

Add a few of the Mexican egg rolls into the hot oil, and cook until the wrappers are golden brown, about 4-7 minutes. Remove them and let them drain on some paper towel, upright in a strainer, if you can. Repeat.

{Google Images} 

Now, grab yourself a icy cold margarita (or five) and enjoy! 

We Want to Know

May 4, 2011


1. If money didn't matter, where would your perfect vacation take place? Briefly describe.
 Ireland. I'd spend most of my time visiting castles and just enjoying the scenery. I would HAVE to kiss the Blarney Stone while I'm there though!

2. What's a bad habit that you have {or ha} that is/was hard to break?
Smoking. Considering that I lost my Mom to lung cancer you'd think it would be easy to quit, it's not. Hubby just quit (he's taking Chantix) and I think I'm going to try (with the same meds) to next month!

3. If you weren't on a diet or counting calories, what would you like to have for dinner tonight?
Lol probably all the Cajun foods that I can't get here! Boudin balls, boudin, you know...the good stuff. Either that or anything Mexican.

4. If you had the chance to interview anyone in the world, dead or alive, who would it be and what's one question that you would ask?
Oprah. I'd probably ask her to adopt me lol.

5. Describe yourself in 6 words.
Funny, loyal, loving, caring, trusting, softhearted.