I just made you say underwear....

April 2, 2010

Oh yes my honies, it's that time again! I've found some more of those products that make me, and hopefully you say WTF! Enjoy!

Ladies, check this out, the Kush. It is a piece of plastic cylinder that you slip it in your cleavage before you sleep. Wait, this is only for women with C-cup or larger. That's just f*cked up! Ladies with an A and B cup are screwed!
The Intimi  Breast PillowWrinkles between and above the breasts??? If you're afraid of cleavage wrinkles there's the breast pillow! It's like a bra but without the cups!
Vulva Original Vaginal Scent

A company in Germany makes a product (it's a pheromone)called Vulva that smells like a woman's nether-regions. You take the glass vial, give it a shake, and then rub some on the back of your hand. It makes me ill just thinking about it.

Who decides who's cooter this stuff smells like anyway? Cause you know, I'm not sure how many German women have had a Summer's Eve kind of day...ya get my meaning?? They need some funk buster seriously!!






I mean I loves me some man junk but I'm not about to run out and buy some pecker scent and start rubbin' that shit on my hand or anything else on my body for that matter!! What in the hell is wrong with people?? Nasty...just nasty!

Solo Man Hairy Chest Bib

Turns You Into a Stud Instantly. As part of an advertising campaign for Australia’s Solo soft drinks, Cadbury Schweppes aims to turn pasty, hairless boys into real men with the Solo Man hairy chest bib. Not only will you feel like a 70’s porn star, you can confidently eat at Red Lobster knowing that you won’t ruin your shirt.
Finally chest hair

Artist Walter Van Beirendonck designed this shirt in 1997. It reproduces his actual chest hair. Wear it with the pubes suit and you're all set for a night on the town.Pubes...you're it!

Costume artist Adelle Lutz designed this "corporate Adam and Eve" flesh colored clothing that is accesssorized with "appropriately" placed pubes. Don't you find it "weird" that the dress has more pubes than the suit? Girlfriend needs to meet a venus razor, they work wonders!I'm getting the feeling that my clothes are totally out of fashion!!

The $1625 Slashed Army T-Shirt

Balmain is selling this 100% cotton ripped army t-shirt for a whopping $1625. When are you going to get yours? Hell...do you know how many "fashionable" clothes I've thrown away over the years? I could be rich damn it!
The Baggy Winecoat

Because you shouldn't leave home without it...your wine that it. Just take the wine bladder out of a box of wine and slip it into this dispensing "purse" and you're all set for a relaxing drive in the country. Only $58 and you can have one for your very own.Big Hairy Bush
Hair particle drawing by artist Don Relyea. (for f*cks sake, for your own sanity...never google "big hairy bush!" ewww I'm traumatized...for life!)

John Holmens High school

This is a real high school and is located right down the road from us (about 45 minutes to an hour away)in Edenton, NC.


The Self Adhesive Chest Wig

Imagine this on a red headed guy! So, so sexy!
Doggie Lover Doll

The world's first sex doll for dogs is a soft rubber "toy" with a silicone vagina and comes complete with an "intimate lubricant to increase the life of the doll."You KNOW a man came up with this idea, a man designed this...just sayin'!

Neuticles

Testicular implantation for pets. Did you have poor Fido's nuts chopped off? (shame on you!!)
Well good news Fido, you can now get Neuticles implants. And they even come in a number of sizes to fit your needs.
You know I had to use the pug pic!!

I mean really, just because you had poor Fido's nuts chopped off doesn't mean it has to look like you did! Hell, if you love Neuticles as much as Fido does they offer a variety of giftware including earrings and keychains.

The only thing better than your dogs rubber nuts hanging from your ears or keyring? Your man's rubber balls on them!

Slow Cow

The Anti Energy drink contains ingredients known for their calming effects. Helps tone down the hyperactive. I can't even begin to tell you how many people I know who could feed this to their kids lol.

The Mens Underwear Repair Kit

Men, do you love your favorite pair of tighty-whiteys so much that you want to wear them day in and day out, unwilling to take them off even for a good run through the washing machine or a tumble through they dryer? (ewww ya NASTY!)

Are they becoming overly holey, stained, stretched out to the point they're unwearable (even by men's standards)? Well now you have an alternative that can make your hhideous drawers wearable again...The Mens Underwear Repair Kit. Yes, that's right! For a mere $9.95 you can get your own kit that comes with a needle and thread, fabric patches, duct tape, a new waist band, and underwear white-out to get rid of those unsightly stains. And just in case you get confused, it also comes with a fully illustrated man-u-al.

I'm jealous! I wonder why they don't have a Womans Underwear Repair Kit?? Oh...that's right!! We'd just throw the damn things away and buy ourselves some new Vicky's Secret drawers!











Robert Pattinson Panties

Ladies, we may not have an underwear repair kit but we DO have good ol' Edward drawers!! Lol...I'm as Twihard as the next person but these even have me scratching my head. Yes ladies...you can have Robert Pattinson in your pants!



You too can tramp stamp it around with these lovely undies. I mean, who doesn't love an apple on their ass??











The best part??
Oh yeah girls...you can have his lips where the sun don't shine. I don't know about you but there's something "sexy" walking around knowing that Edward has his lips all over my vajayjay and nobody knows it but me. Have you ordered yours yet??Anatomy Underwear

This gorgeous little ditty was shown to the world at the Parson's 2009 Fashion Benefit.  The design is a wide hipped white lace one piece featuring breasts and hair made of pink and white tulle. The look creates the appearance of a naked woman and turned heads as the benefit. I'm pissed that I'm just finding out about it now.

Pearl Lingerie for Men
Oh my word. I'm speechless. Are these the same thing as a pearl necklace (just for a mans ass crack) ?Though...I did just order a pair for Mr Man! Think he'll like 'em? The $60 thong has the pearl strand leading from the back to the front lace pouch. (A man's "package" in a lace pouch?? Be still my beating heart!!) It’s available in black, white and periwinkle, I ordered the periwinkle...they'll go great with my boo's blue eyes!!
Next I ordered a few of these hot pieces of  male lingerie! Mr Man is gonna be so surprised! (ha ha)
Hot right?? Which one's are you ordering?
Cuchini Pads for your underwear


Do you suffer from the dreaded camel toe? Well now you can get a Cuchini pad. Designed to stick to any garment and smooth you out down "there!"

According to one website "Nature used to provide a hair covering to soften the area, bush for the cush is gone and there is a need for camel toe smoothers. 
Camel Toe Panties

We might hate the camel toe here in the states but in Japan...hell in Japan they're buying undies to give them one.


No matter what your thoughts/feelings on the pesky camel toe, rest assured that there's a product to help you.

Call Me Panties

Panties with a phone holster built in. I don't know about you ladies but I want my phone as close to my hooha as possible, especially when it's on vibrate.




Commandos Cotton Patches

Crotch only panties. There have been crotchless panties for years so I guess these were only a matter of time. Free spirited women (and men...to each their own) can stick these "down under" and feel free to go commando without being "gross!" They come in black, denim, pale pink, light nude and white. They're adhesive and stick right to your pants. Back in the day we used to call these panty liners.


The C String

The best thing to happen to undies besides not wearing any?? I don't know about that!! Just "pop" it on and it stays put. I don't know about you ladies, but I don't want to wear anything I need to pop on, especially on my ass. Can you imagine what the wire in that damn thing feels like riding in the crack of your ass all day?? Ouch!
 

 Can you imagine walking around with this on all day??

Whew...makes my cooter and my crack hurt just looking at it for realz yo!


The Seamless Man Mitt, Willie Warmer, Peter Heater

Is an explanation really needed for this one? It's a cock warmer.

Even though I could keep going I'm gonna end this one for now! I can't do too many of these at once! When I do it makes me think I'm one of the few sane people left in this world lol. So...which one was your favorite? Which one made you scratch your head and say "Dude...WTF" the most?

All images courtsey of google images.

16 comments:

MommyLovesStilettos said...

OMG the pearl lingerie for men made me gag. LOL

blueviolet said...

Oh my holy hell! As I kept moving from one product to the next, I just couldn't believe there was yet another one. I've never seen so much "wrong" in one post before.

And I LOVED IT! However, I'm not ordering any of it. ;)

Dee Stephens said...

yes WTF?

Dee said...

I really wonder where you find these things. Even worse....who thinks them up???

HeatherLynn said...

my favorite are the edward panties. lol...mostly for your commentary on them! edwards lips on your vajayjay all day! you know, some days....I could actually maybe get on board with that! lol

be one of those days when you walk around smiling a peculiar smile and people wonder why your face looks like Mona Lisa's....

ya know?

~hl~

MindyMom said...

I kinda like the breast pillow idea. We dont want any cleavage wrinkles! (But you'd better be sleeping alone when you use it - SO not hot)

All the rest though? WTF????

Ian said...

Holy hell....from the boob pillow to the ass pearls which made me fucking blind this was a post of epic proportions!

Danielle said...

Where did you find this stuff. You crack me up!

Alicia said...

OOOOOOOOOOOO
MMMMMMMMMMMM
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

holy crap woman!!! lol, ok i don't know where to begin!! but i LOVE LOVE LOVE balmain, but what they've done with that shirt is OUT OF CONTROL!! and those edward undies.... omg. omg omg omg. HAHAHHAHAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*LLUVIA* said...

ROTFLMAO!!!!!

OH.


MY.


GAWD!!!!!!!




LMAO!!!


WOW...

{Kimber} said...

ummmmm wow

no one is a bigger edward freak than me and even I am disturbed by this...

WhisperingWriter said...

Holy crap!!

I need that pube dress I think.

Julie said...

Oh sweet Jesus, I've missed your blog. LOL I've got to get caught up on my blog reading more often!!!!

Happy Easter!

The Blue Zoo said...

Oh holy crow! WTF?

Those are hilarious!!

I may just order those Edward undies though. They would totally freak the hubs out! LOL

Danica said...

OMG crazy! I need to not read your blog at lunch!

Anonymous said...

I may have to get my daughter some of those commandos patches. She seems to think that since she doesn't wear undies that she has to do less laundry. Ewwww. Just makes me shudder thinking about it.

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