Yesterday my Son and his girlfriend had their ultrasound to find out the sex of my grand baby. It broke my heart that I couldn't be there. The kids decided that they were going to try to Facetime with me if the facility had wifi, they didn't. So the called me and put me on speaker phone so I could hear it. I couldn't understand a word that was being said but my Son's best friend Nick (the baby's Godfather) was sweet enough to talk me through it.
I cried the entire time because I couldn't be there, because I was missing one of the most exciting times in my Son's (and mine) life. Just hearing the baby's heartbeat was enough to send me into tears!
In the first picture that I was able to see the baby is sucking it's thumb.
The next words I heard was the entire room saying....
Introducing Peyton Claire....
She's already stolen my heart!
I never thought that I would get to this stage of my life, where anticipating your arrival is almost as exciting for me as waiting for your dad to be born was. I was wrong. Since the moment I found out about you I've been over the moon.
I spend hours sitting around imagining what your going to look like, what your laugh is going to sound like. I imagine watching your Daddy holding you and spoiling you. I imagine watching your Mommy care for you and fall in love with you more than she already is. I imagine you running to me, your Onnie, when your Mommy and Daddy wont let you have your way.
I promise to be a fun Onnie, I'm going to read you stories like I used to read to your daddy, I promise to teach you how to give me "pinch kisses" just like your Daddy did when he was little. I promise to get down in the floor with you and play with your toys and to make you laugh until your tummy aches.
Together you and I will have lots of fun, and when your mom and dad are not around I'll probably let you get away with things that they might not approve of, but as you will learn, that's what good Onnie's do. They spoil you and give you things that you won't get elsewhere!
I'm just so excited that you are coming soon! This will be a new rebirth - for both you and I. Your birthday will always be a special day for me, (especially if you're born on my birthday!) and when you get bigger the parties will get grander and the spoiling will get worse. You will cry to me "please Onnie can I have this or that", and honestly, if I have the money and you've been good, you'll probably bat your eyes at me and get your way.
There are so many people I wish you could have known, baby. Maybe you met them on your way here? Your Maw Maw Rose, your Aunt Sissy. What beautiful people there have been in your mom and dad’s lives. You wont get to meet them, but their inspiration is still felt by the people around you, so in a round-about way you will know them. And I'll be sure that you learn about who they were and how much they would have loved meeting you, and spoiling you.
So littlest one, I am so happy you are coming to meet me soon. I can't wait to see you. I can't wait to see if you'll have your daddies eyes, your mothers lips. What will you be like? Who will you be? Borrow a little from mommy and a little from daddy. But most of all, I know, you will be you. I can say with some certainty you will be independent. I’m pretty sure you will be considerate and loving, intelligent and thoughtful, creative and articulate. I know these things because that’s what you live with.
Most of all, you will be you. My little unborn baby Peyton, your entire life is still ahead of you. A blank canvas for you to paint your life on. You are not limited to being mini-Amanda or mini-Rusty. Amazing as they are, and as much as you will learn from them. You will be you, and I can’t wait to get to know the person you will become.
There are a few things that I hope that you inherit from your Mommy and Daddy. Your Mommy's cute girly style, and her sweetness. Your Daddy's infectious laugh, his compassion for other people. I hope that you're as outspoken as both of them, and also that you have their love for their families.
I hope that I am as important to you as your Mommy and Daddy's grandparents are to them. I hope that I am someone you'll always remember lovingly, and that I'm someone who you'll turn to when you need someone to talk to, just like your Mommy does her Grandmother.
Most of all Peyton, I hope that you please remember that nobody except your mother and father will ever love you the way I (and your other Grandma) do. I'm so excited to meet you little one, I can't wait to hold you in my arms and look into your eyes.