Oh I'm Still Alive!

March 2, 2011

I know, I know! I haven't been blogging much lately, this past week I've had one headache after another! Today is the first day knock on wood in four or five days that I haven't had one. Shit sucks!

I've also been working on a blog layout, and trying to design the layout for my "design" blog at the same time. As many blog layouts as I've designed you'd think it would be easy. It's not. I mean, it has to be perfect right? Who would want to hire someone to design a layout for their blog if my layout is all fonkatated? (Yes, I made it up!)

I'm frustrated too. I'm sitting here watching hubby's heart break. He tries to put on a "brave face" but I know it's breaking his heart that he's selling his Harley. I also know that he's stressing out over getting it sold so he can pay off his truck and pay our damn taxes. It breaks my heart, for him.

It also makes me think of the people who I've loaned money too. One person in particular. He's a family member, he's "trying to find his way" whatever in the hell that means, he knows I have a soft spot in my heart for him. It's hard for me to tell him no. We could almost pay off the taxes (over $2000 tyvm IRS bitches) with what he owes me. What he's been owing me for YEARS.

But I don't even bother asking if he can pay me anything. First of all, I shouldn't have to ask. He knows that when he was in need an no one else would "loan" him the money, I DID. He also knows that he owes me. Hell, maybe he forgot? NOT!

Meanwhile, I sign into FB and see how he's going out on dates, out to dinner, to the movies. How he's shopping for new "threads" for these dates. How he's buying a new stereo for his truck, taking trips, having fun. Really? Could you be any more selfish?

Yet here hubby and I are, I couldn't tell you the last time we went out on a date, the last time we went out to dinner. The last time he's (we've) had some stress relief.

Do you know how good it would feel to hand hubby the money to pay off those taxes so he would stop stressing, so maybe he wouldn't have to sell the most important thing to him (besides his family of course)?

The stupid part? I've loaned him money a bunch of times. I knew better, but how could I say no? I mean, he's "family!" I didn't think I'd continually be screwed over! Like I said though, he's not the only person who I've "loaned" money too. Yeah...I'm an idiot!


I have made a decision though. Starting today, I'm gonna be...


When does "Can I borrow some money?" or "Can you help me out?" or "Can you lend me some money?" mean..."thanks for handing over the money that you busted your ass to make, see ya sucka"? What line do I need to stand in to have "free" money handed to me? Must be nice. It's a damn slap in the face. But...trust me, it WONT happen again. Believe that.

He'll be in need again, maybe not tomorrow or the next day...but someday. And when he does...I pity his ass if he ask me.


It just pisses me off, I see hubby hurting. I see him stressing, I see what the stress is doing to his health and I'm sitting here helpless. I'm trying to find a job, I haven't had one call back. Not one.

Sorry, I know that I said I was going to try to stop writing post bitching and complaining. I hate it really. But I'm not the type of person to hold shit in, I can't. It'll drive me nuts. And it's not like I'm going to add more stress onto hubby by talking to him about it. He's under enough pressure as it is. Sigh.

Hell, at least y'all know now. Yup, I'm the girl formally known as "The National Bank of you big sucka Dee!"

4 comments:

MiMi said...

My parents owe the IRS. WE owe the IRS. WTF?!
I'm thinking the IRS needs to pay OUR asses to live here! It's startin' to suck eggs!

My Aimless Infatuation said...

Oh,I feel ya girl! Same here,by now I'm sure I must have sucker tatooed on my forehead. Like you, I am done. It hurts when the person that owes you money is living higher on the hog than you with no remorse and to cap it off I know if the tables were turned that I would be demanded to pay them back.......... Sorry,I was getting on my soapbox there for a minute. Just wanted you to know I fully understand your hurt and resentment. Hope everything works out for ya'll.

June said...

I haven't blogged in 2 weeks and don't feel bad about it at all.
I still visit blogs but don't comment much.

So sorry to hear that Hubs is stressing out. Maybe you should drop a line on FB to the guy who owes you $$. Call him out publicly. What the hell. If it means you get some cash back.

Taxes, IRS... grrrr. Just makes my stomach boil. I let Ward deal with it.
Pinkus actually owes money to the Feds because of interest earned on a CD. Can you believe that shit? A minor paying taxes. Effed up. Granted it's only $20 but still, it's the principal of the matter.

Anyways... I hope you all bounce back soon.
Have you applied at any Employment Agencies? They are struggling to find jobs for people too but you might land something quicker. I hate job hunting but make sure you have on your resume that you are a Social Media guru and can build blogs, write html - these are valuable skills and if you ever need a good reference, I would be happy to provide one!! You have done beautiful work on my blog.

Drop a line when you feel up to it!

Keeper of the Skies Wife said...

Sorry you've been dealing with so many headaches.
Taxes suck ass...we actually don't have to pay this year! Hope the stress of tax season goes away soon...bitch all you want girl.

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