Flow Like a Harpoon.....

November 24, 2010

So...it's turkey day eve, so I thought I'd sit down and write a short blog entry before the cooking madness begins. Y'all know that I had to show y'all some turkey day lovin'!

{ice is back with a brand new invention} 

Whew! Sorry, I had to get that out! Have y'all tried these little nuggets of yumminess??

{so damn good}

If you haven't...run out and grab you some. Apparently they're only going to be out for a limited time. Damn it. They're just like crack dealers, they get you addicted and then they cut you off. Bastards!!

{they tried to make me go to rehab but I said no, no, no} 

Yesterday my MIL and I were sitting and watching TV when something happened that I just KNEW I'd have to blog about, for your entertainment  of course! Anywow, I said to my self, "Self....why don't you blog about it?"

{well there's an idea...'magine that}

I wont bother you with Self's smart ass reply! She's such a bitch! I'm sure you've all seen the commercials for this particular product...

{don't you just love those commercials?}

My MIL turned to me and asked me "Have you and hubby ever used that?" Ummm.... wha? 

{totally NOT my MIL...she's much cuter than this}

Lmao...honestly, we've never used it, but for about 30 seconds I felt like I was so on the spot. I mean, it just wasn't a question I was expecting my MIL to ask me lol. It was good for a laugh though! I told her that no, we'd never used it and that was the end of the conversation. Has your MIL ever asked you any funny or awkward questions like that? If so....spill it bitches.

Speaking of KY...I used to work at a grocery store here in town, the first night that I closed a couple of guys (they had to be in their late 60's!!) came to my register about 5 minutes before we closed. They only had one product. Yup...you guessed it!  

{that was a mental image I could have done without!}

Speaking of the grocery store that I used to work at...would you believe that they have to keep all the KY products, yeast infection meds, condoms and even pregnancy test behind the service desk? Because they're the items most often stolen. It's pretty damn bad when you have to STEAL KY jelly people.

{unless you're a broke bitch, if you are...squeeeeal bitch!} 

 {don't judge me}

Because I'm short on words, and time...I'm gonna leave you with some turkey day funnies, and a poem.

{nahhh, he's just happy to see you!}

{you don't want to know where my giblets end up. really, you don't}


 {better than a headed fowl carcass. just sayin'}

 {dude, that wasn't bread}

 {first you'll need a dab or two of KY jelly}

{actually it's the beard. the beard turns me on}

{it's all the rage in Brazil} 

{damn! is that all I have to do?}

 {would you like yours, or mine?}

{who am I to judge?}

{I'm to sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts} 

 Ok, I'll stop now! After previewing this entry I've come to realize that I have entirely too much time on my hands lol. I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving. Remember all that you have to be thankful for. Love, kisses and paper plates instead of dishes. 


MiMi said...

I would have shit in my pants if my MIL asked me ANYTHING like that! LOL!
And, Flow like a harpoon, daily and nightly, will it ever stop? Yo! I don't know. Turn off the lights and I glow. To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandle, light up the stage and wax the chump like a candle. Dance! Whatcha...
Oh. Sorry.

Dee Stephens said...

so funny! Especially the story about your MIL! Is that you in that picture? Skinny legs if so!

ClosedOnSunday said...

My MIL hasn't ever asked an awkward question like that, but I do have a funny story about her. Instead of a bachelorette party, my SIL had a sex toy party. And let me just say, I love me some kink! My bestie & I had our catalogs & were ready to shop!! Who do you think sat right next to me? MIL herself. Awkward!

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