One of My Favorite People....

September 6, 2010

BishPackTM

Here you go! :) Tell me what you think and/or if you want it to be longer? Love ya.

Ahhh . . . Where to start?

I don't even remember when or how I came to meet this wonderful lady I am honored to call friend or as I affectionately call her, "Momma".

This is truly a special friendship. We've written back and forth so many times and I've confided some pretty heavy stuff, but I know she will never betray our bond and friendship. I thank you for that Momma!

When she asked me if I would guest post over here I was thrilled! I knew exactly which of my posts I wanted her to showcase. It is one of my "work in progress" posts because I'm always adding new things to it!

Workplace Solutions to Increase Productivity 

I'm constantly trying to think of ways or incentives that will increase employee productivity. Here are a couple of ideas I have mulled over in my head.

My first idea is to allow employees to drink on the job. Not get outright smashed at your desk or anything, but enjoy a drink or two in the morning and a drink or two in the afternoon at your desk. BYOB, by the way. Here's the catch . . . If you appear intoxicated or can't function, you get sacked. The idea is that everyone will be way more relaxed and not so stiff, creating a more friendly ambiance, thereby bringing up office morale. Additionally, everyone will be in fear of getting sacked for being intoxicated that everyone will work even harder.

Whenever the holidays or my birthday roll around everyone always asks, "What can I get you? What would you like?" I always say, "An emergency martini kit for my desk." No one has listened so far, except for my Momma Carol, but she made me promise to take it home.

My second idea is to let everyone take a mental health day once a month. It will not be counted against your vacation or sick time. It's a free day that you can use as you please. The idea is that employees will look look forward to having one day off a month and will be less prone to take a sick day to go have some fun when they know they'll have this free day at their disposal. The catch . . . No pending items on your desk. A free day once a month as long as all your crap is done? Productivity will go through the roof.

Third (and final) idea. Allow each employee to telecommute at least once a month. Who wouldn't love to work on an item while lounging at home in your pajamas? Here's the catch . . . You must readily be available on your mobile phone and have access to a computer during your normal work hours. Employees won't feel as stressed out having to get to the office in the morning and save money on gas. Those living in a cave without computers or cell phones . . . You miss out!

Yea, yea . . . I know . . . I'm a daydreamer . . .

Added July 28, 2009

I can't believe I hadn't thought of this before. A designated area for people to take naps (during their breaks and lunch times, of course) if they so choose. BYOPnB - Bring Your Own Pillow and Blanket. If we had one of those, I wouldn't have fallen asleep in my non-airconditioned car in the parking lot today, with the windows cracked (for fear of being in the ghetto), under the shade of a tree (in our otherwise barren parking lots where shady spots are a freakin' commodity), and woken up all sweaty and gross feeling. At least I felt rested. I felt even better after sitting in front of the fan and drinking a bottle of cold water.

Added August 12, 2009

Hour lunches all around! The office completely shuts down at 12:00 p.m. That way you can have lunch with whomever you would like to have lunch with without having to rearrange the entire office lunch schedule. That is all.

Added October 26, 2009

Monday work hours should be cut down from eight hours to six hours. Offices would simply open two hours later on Monday. That way no one would hate Mondays and no one would come in all freakin' groggy and hating life. Did I neglect to mention this would fall under 'Perks' so (in true Meeko Fabulous fashion) nobody's pay would be affected.

Added February 10, 2010

First off, NO CLOSED DOOR MEETINGS. This has been a recent development in my office. It's bad for morale. The people behind closed doors may be discussing their freakin' vacation plans for all I know, but the rest of us that are sitting out here are sitting wonder what the Hell it is that we did wrong each time that door closes. I believe in an open door policy. There is no need for secrets. It's bad for morale and doesn't make people feel like they are included as part of the staff. I know there are certain things that have to be discussed confidentially, but I'm sure it would be different if the door closed and people felt safe in this office and not as if they have to constantly be watching their backs.

Second, no one is allowed to talk to anyone until they've had at least one cup of coffee. What's that you say? You gave up caffeine? Don't give me that crap. Fine. Don't talk to ME until I've had at least one cup of coffee, k?


Meeko, thank you so much for agreeing to be my very first guest poster! Love you boo!

2 comments:

MiMi said...

How 'bout mental health day once a week?? lol

adrienzgirl said...

I just love Meeko! His humor is just spot on!!

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