Meet Me on Monday and 30 Days of Truth...day

July 26, 2010

You should go by Java's blog and check out the Meet Me On Monday!


Questions:

1. What one food could you eat every single day?
Mexican...anything Mexican! You can add a margarita to that order...please!



2. Do you wear glasses or contacts? 
Glasses, only when I read though (unless I forget to take them off lol)!



3. What kind of cell phone do you have?
Blackberry Tour...can't live without it



4. What did you have for dinner last night?
We went to a pig pickin' (my first) so we had pulled pork and all the fixin's!


Whew...thank God they didn't have a whole pig on the grill...I wouldn't have been able to eat it lol! Love that pic though! Found it on Google!

5. What is your favorite candy?
Watermelon (or almost any other flavor) Jolly Ranchers! Once I start eating them...I can't stop!  





Today is day 8 of my 30 days of truth. I can't tell y'all how therapeutic this meme has been for me. I'm having fun with it!  

Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

I could really go off with this one, but for the sake of my own sanity I'm not going to. I guess this one would have to go to my ex. I met him when my son was 2. I know that this is going to sound so cliche' but the first time that I saw him I just knew that we were destined to be together. For real y'all, I swear I thought I heard a choir singing lol. I didn't even meet him that day, I just saw him. It took me two weeks to talk my sister into introducing me to him. He was recently separated and well to be honest, I was a bit of a "player!" (or so my sister thought) She honestly said that he was too good for me.

I have to explain the "player" thing though. I'd been hurt so many times that I wasn't about to let anyone do it to me again. So I would break things off with a guy before he could. Yeah...it was my "I'm gonna hurt you before you can hurt me stage!"

She finally introduced us two weeks after I first saw him. He came to my sisters house (with his 5 and 6 year old daughters) and we played cards. We saw each other every day after that for almost two months before he left to go on a vacation with his family. The week that he was gone was one of the most miserable weeks of my life lol. My sister and her husband (I lived with them) were just as miserable. We all missed him like crazy!!

He ended up cutting his vacation short by three days because apparently he missed me just as much. YAY! I think he was the first guy that didn't try to have sex with me on the first date, or the second, or the thrid. Two months. Months. I loved that about him.

We ended up moving in together not long after the vacation. I'd never been that in love with someone in all my life. And I was just in love with his kids. They started calling me momma about two weeks after we started dating. They had my heart.

Eight months into our living together I found out that he was talking to his ex that he was separated from. I was crushed. Heartbroken. But I bowed out gracefully. I loved him enough that I wanted him to be happy, even if it wasn't with me. His psycho wife started sending me crazy letters in the mail, they were typed on brown paper bags and the return address was 666 Cemetery Highway crazy! AFTER I left...and she had him back...and this  bitch started harassing me. Don't worry, two years later I whipped her ass!  You can talk about me all you like but when you start putting my sons name on those brown paper bags, we've got an issue. And I DON'T forget. I only had to wait to years to find her ass out in a bar!

Five years later we found out that each other was once again single. We started seeing each other again and within two months we were living together again.  

He'd changed a lot over those five years. When we first got back together he had this young couple living with him. My sister and I stopped by his house one night cause he said they were having a party. There were teenagers every where. Those kids were tearing up his house, one girl actually threw up in his bed. It was a hot mess. By the end of the night the teenagers were running out the back door and the cops (noise complaint) were knocking on the front door. That should have been my first clue. But, here's the man that I'd loved so much that I chose to ignore a lot of things I shouldn't have.

He's started smoking weed. I always knew it but chose to ignore it. He'd smoke it in front of his kids. I couldn't stand that. There was no way he was doing that in front of my son. And he didn't. I guess about 5 years into our relationship there was a knock at our door, it was the cops.

His 17 year old daughter wanted to move in with us and there was nothing her mom could do to stop her so she told the cops that we got a "shipment" of weed every Friday and that we sold to minors. Lyin' bitch.

Our house was raided. In front of my son and my Godchild were there. We had about 10-12 cops searching everywhere. They found less than an ounce of weed.  We were both arrested. Yup, I was arrested and handcuffed, in front of my son and my Godchild. For weed that I didn't even smoke. (Yeah, I'd tried it. Hell I even liked it for a while, but that was years before this.)

I don't think I ever forgave him for that. Having to go to court and being found guilty. Having that on my record. For being put on probation for two years for his bs. Uugh. Want to know the funny part? Two months later we got married. Lol...

Drugs and alcohol were a big part of his life. I just chose to overlook it. Instead of standing up for myself and demanding that he quit I just overlooked it. I started noticing that when he was on (pain) pills or when he was drinking that he was mean, hateful, spiteful...just nasty mean.

The longer we were together the worse it got. It was like a sport to him, and the bigger audience he had, the worse it was. I'll never forget my first xmas without my Mom my whole family came to our house for xmas day. He got drunk. He was just mean to me for the sake of being mean. He humiliated me in front of my family. I sat there in front of everyone and cried.

That was the day that I realized that I wasn't going to take it anymore. Two can play this game. It just went downhill from there. We fought all the time. Never had nothing nice to say to each other. It was just abusive all the way around.

This is also the same time that I realized that there was something seriously wrong with me. I was having a lot of muscle pain, numbness in my "limbs" and just really weird shit going on with my body. I went to my family doctor and the minute I told him my symptoms he said "You have fibromyalgia!" Just to be on the safe side he tested me for MS, Lupis and every other frickin' thing you can think of. He was right the first time.

I took it hard. All I could think about when being tested for MS was "What if I end up in a wheel chair? This is who I'm supposed to depend on to take care of me? Just imagine how abusive he'd be then!" When I went home and told him what the final results were he said "You might as well as kill yourself now and get it over with!"

The worst  part was I had to sleep with my meds hidden in my pillow case every night. They were his first love at this point. Honestly, I don't know how I could have been so stupid to have not realized that he was sneaking in them. Once I had to get an injection in my neck which meant that he had to take me to the hospital and bring me home because I was sedated. Once he got me home he went straight to the drug store and filled my Rx's! Pain meds. The next day I realized that he'd taken half the bottle before he gave them to me. He stashed them for later.

It got so bad that (because I couldn't work at the time) the only way he would let me fill my Rx's was if I gave him half of them. He'd paid for them after all. That was his thinking. If he paid for them then he should get half of them.

He used to love to light a small fire in our back yard and sit out there and drink during the winter. At this point he was so bad off on pills that he would fall asleep out there and I wouldn't be able to wake him up. It would take me over an hour to get him up and in the house. It disgusted me to see him like that. It was, in one word, pathetic.

I'd never even thought about this until my sister said it to me but she told me "Dee, if he od's on your pills, you can go to jail!" I'd already been to jail once for his ass, I wasn't about to do it again. I left. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done. But I was (and am) so proud of myself for having the strength to just walk away. It was the best decision for both of us.

I immediately filed for a divorce. The only thing I asked for in our divorce was my car. I wasn't going to take anything from him. I just wanted out. We were granted our divorce two months later.

Two months after our divorce I found out that he was seeing his ex wife. Yeah, the psycho bitch that he was married to before me. Haha. They were married a couple of months later and within 6 months of their wedding she was preggers with their son. His daughters were 23 and 24 at the time they had their son. His grandson is older than his son lol.

But, his wife has done some good for himl. Apparently (NOT) he's off drugs. (Bitch is blind! I saw him the last time I went home, he was loaded on pills. I mean...fucker is slurring his words! HELLOOO). And he's really slowed down on the drinking. (HA right!) She wont allow it.

More power to 'em!

Whew...that was a long one huh? If you're still reading this...I lubs ya! You're the best! I'm gonna close by saying "I hate half truths!" Just sayin'.............

11 comments:

FROGGITY! said...

i love pig pickin's... that's good stuff! SO IS MEXICAN FOOD! i could live off of it. :)

glad you walked away. no one needs that!

Dee Stephens said...

WOW! Drama indeed. Only 2 months to get a divorce? Couldn't be in Louisiana??
Be glad you're done with that loser!

singedwingangel said...

Aww hun I am glad you got out.. sometimes , even thought the bad sucks, we learn to appreciate the good when it comes along..

Travis said...

Crazy post, good to see you had the sense to leave him!

a49erfangirl said...

that pig roast picture is cute. I loved the Blackberry Tour when I had it. Wish I would have kept it.

mommyof4 said...

30 days of Truths sounds interesting!Nice to meet you! Have a fantastic day!

MiMi said...

I read the whole post, and your ex is a DB, swear, but I can't get over that PIG PICTURE!!! AHHH!!

Java said...

Oh man that I love pulled pork!! Yum!! I actually can't stand Jolly Ranchers! lol....I am so jealous of your phone!!!

Danica said...

Oh wow. Thank goodness you are no longer with your ex. You are so much better off! Crazy shit girl.

Doreen McGettigan said...

Just stopped by from Over 40 to say hello and follow.
Your life has the drama mine does jeeze..

LBDDiaries said...

Man what a tough road you were on and I'm so glad you're off! I had a trip down that same road, too. Funny how we ignore things we shouldn't and halleluia that we lived thru it! Visiting via A Rusty Southern Belle

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