I know I haven't been around all that much, I've really been trying to enjoy as much time with hubby as I can while he's had this time off.
I haven't been sleeping good lately, I know...what's new? In the last four days I've had one good nights sleep. Another one of those nights I got about 3 hours sleep and the other two nights I was up all night! So now I'm trying to play catch up!
I've been designing a few blogs too. Nothing I'm getting paid for (yet) but hopefully soon I can start up a little side business doing that!
Beef Jerky underwear. And y'all...be still my beating heart...they're bedazzled!! I bet they taste better than those nasty fruit roll up underwear though! Not that I've tasted those or anything...just sayin'!
Yes ladies, this baby absorbs "man gas!" Lol the website says that they contain the same type of fabric used by the military to protect against chemical weapons!
The Boyfriend Body Pillow
I wont even go into the product description on the web for this one. I thought I'd list the "benefits and features" instead.
* Perfect sleeping companion for lonely people
* Feel the embrace of a real (really??) man without the snoring, smell, tossing or turning
Those were the only two that mattered to me, because they're redonkulous!
The Butt Bra
What the hell is wrong with people? Seriously, if your ass is sagging enough to need a butt bra, it's too damn late...get over it!
Chuck Norris Toilet Paper
Of course it's not real, but it's funny.
While we're on the subject of TP, how about some glow in the dark TP?? You know...it's for when you don't feel like turning on the light...you'll be able to "see" your way through it!
A disposable urinal for women. It's fitted with absorbent polymers that turn urine into a gel that can absorb half a liter of pee but the bag itself can hold up to a full liter. It's "recommended" for one-time use (duhh).
"The portable, disposable divice that allows women to pee standing up wherever and whenever they need to, without losing their dignigty." Peeing in a paper cup will REALLY help me keep my dignity!!
Loved To Death Jewelry
Lmao...according to their website "All animal parts in our jewelry and accessories line come from recycled (Ya think??) sources and have all been professionally preserved.No animal has EVER been killed for use in our work. They are Loved To Death by us and hopefully you too!"
This might have been funny back in the 70's but how much fun can you have "drawing" a landing strip?
Shit Happens Designer Dog Poo Bags
Because you can never be too stylish! Even when picking up shit! They actually turn into a box...a designer box.
I'm NOT even going to ask who's supposed to put the damn thing on, or how you'd going about doing that. Ewww. Lmao...on the website they have some Q&A's on their front page. Here's a sample of them...
What Sizes and Scents Do They Come In?
Dog condoms come in three sizes to fit small, medium, and large breeds. Almost every dog will find a comfortable, well-proportioned condom to meet their needs. The condoms also come in lubricated and meat scented varieties to enhance pleasure for both dog partners.
Can I Train My Dog To Put It On Himself?
No, the dog will require human intervention each time he wishes to put on or take off a condom.
What About Female Condoms for Bitches?
We recognize that birth control is the responsibility of both partners, and we are currently working on a prototype of a condom for female dogs. However, we don't expect it to reach the market until 2007.
What About Loss of Sensation?
Just like with human condoms, the dog may experience a slight loss of sensation. However, the condoms are made of a very thin latex which should transmit heat well, a key factor in creating a lifelike feel. We are also experimenting with new scents, which work like a "doggy Viagra", providing further sensory stimulation.
(There's something seriously wrong with these people!!)
Want to hear the hilarious part? There's a product recall on them. The reason? According to the website:
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE -- Bloomington, IN – August 3, 2006 -- Dog Condoms, Inc.
is announcing a voluntary recall of its Dog Condoms® canine prophylactics, due
to an unacceptable failure rate reported during preliminary release in test
markets. Use of these recalled condoms may result in unwanted canine pregnancies.
Additionally, meat-scented Dog Condoms® may present a choking hazard, especially
for smaller dogs.
Meat scented? Are you effin' kidding me? And no one thought they'd be a choking hazard when you were coming up with this crap?
Ed Hardy Hand Sanitizer
So when you're "fist pumpin'" you'll have the cleanest hands around!
"Spritz the bowl before you go...and no one else will ever know!" Hmmm...ok!
Artificial foreskin for circumcised men. It "helps restore the sensitivity to the penis of circumcised men. It protects the head of the penis against dryness and chafing caused by constant exposure to clothing." (Don't you think wearing a fake penis thingy would cause "chafing?)
Sonic Boom Alarm Clock
Wake up to any combo of loud pulsating audio alarm, flashing lights, and shaking bed (bed vibrator sold separately). I could totally use one of these lol!
For that special guy *wink wink*
Underwear safe...it would totally work with me...I wouldn't touch the damn things!
Weener Kleener Soap
Because regular soap just wont work!!
They have a whole collection you can choose from. Of course I had to to pick the "Masturgator!" Because I'm from Louisiana you fools, not because...oh never mind!
Well, that's my latest installment of "WTH?" I hope you've all enjoyed it! I swear, just when I think I can't find anything else to make me say "What the hell? Who the hell?" then I do!
Hope you're all doing well!