They call me McSpicy.......

March 12, 2010

Good Morning Bishes!

It's gonna rain all weekend, figures! It's finally nice outside and we're gonna be stuck int he house. But...Mr Man should get plenty of rest, which he needs.

(Not Mr. Man...he's way hotter than this!!)

Sometime this weekend he has to look at my car AGAIN. It's making a God awful noise...I think it's my brakes so I'm scared to drive the damn thing. Thank God we have the least he'll be able to stay dry.

(Not Mr Man...he has a great ass!)

I have a shoulder injury. I played around on my computer so much yesterday that just typing this has this burning, searing, stabbing pain in my right shoulder. So if you get tennis elbow from playing too much tennis do I have computer shoulder? If so...what's the treatment?

I've been fighting with one of my dogs all morning. She keeps stealing "my seat." 

 (Not my actual Pug)

 Bitch doesn't know who she's messing with. Have you forgotten what can happen to you? Do you remember what happened last time? Don't think I wont do it again!! You KNOW I will!

(is the spidey pug song stuck in your head now??) 

 (Not my actual pugs. No Pugs were harmed in this blog entry!)

Who's your Momma now bitch? Who's the boss now? OK! OK...just move the f*ck over a little then! 

Typing with an icepack on your shoulder just wont work damn it. But I'm gonna make it work...I mean what's the other option? Not get on my computer? Bitch please! You must not know who you're messin' with! I'm McSpicy bitch (I totally need a McSpicy signature now!!)! Lmao...that's not happening.

(not my actually shoulder, but can I touch this one?)

My Sister just got a new puppy. It's a Morkie (Maltese and Yorkie mix). Yeah...I'd never heard of it either. She hasn't sent me a picture yet so I had to Google them. Their the cutest effin' things I've ever seen!

(Now if these faces can't heal your heart...nothing can!)

My sister has been through so much in the last couple of years. Her ex dickheadsonofabitchmotherfuckprickgirlymancocksucker decided that he wanted a divorce while she was in the middle of breast cancer testing. They were almost positive that she had it and he came home one day and booted her out. Just like that. On the streets. Hid all the money. Just hit her with all of it like a ton of bricks. Oh yeah ladies, he's a dickheadsonofabitchmotherfuckprickgirlymancocksucker keeper

She didn't have breast cancer. Thank God. But she was defeated. So broken. So hurt. She felt like NOTHING you mutherf*cker. She laid in bed for months. Wouldn't leave the house. Had nothing left to live for. Nothing to look forward to.She was so depressed. So "beaten."

The puppy, she's helping her. She's put a sparkle back in her eyes. Sophie has given her something to look forward to. You should hear her talk about this puppy. It makes me smile. Here's a couple of excerpts of our emails:

"I got a lil puppy yesterday, she is a Morkie......and so adorable. I feel like a mommy again. I'm so happy I have her! I needed her so bad. Almost cried last night I was so happy. She fits in the palm of my hand and will only get at the most 7lbs. Her name is Sophie and I love her to death. Daddy (she's living with our Dad)  is babysitting for me he thinks she is the cutiest lil thing. Love ya"

" I'm so happy I have my baby girl, she is so precious, it's like she already knows that she's loved and in a happy home with this wonderful woman that loves her so much. On top of Poppie (our Dad) spoiling her too. She's in heaven and so am I. I never thought a lil doggie could bring so much joy to my life. Now that's Sappy! LOL! (you would have to know my sister...she's not the sappy type, AT ALL!) I love you and thank you for the pick me up. I need those alot these days it seems. So thank you!" (and they call it puppy love! that song stuck in your head now? lmao

I've got my sister back. I was so scared for her. Worried about her. She's back you little dick...she's back and stronger than ever. I'd said that's a huge FAIL on your part you loser!

So hey ex bro in law. FUCK YOU You did NOT break her to the point where she couldn't be fixed you son of a bitch. She IS going to make it without you, you were NOTHING.Never were. Never will be. How are those HUGE alimony payments going for you? 

God don't like ugly sissy boy! Lmao...karma'a a bitch if you are! Fuck you sissy boy. Five minutes. Dark alley. You and me. I can take you. I've got this!!

(not  me, I'm much hotter than this! NOT!)

Anytime girly man, any time!  So my shoulder said "Fuck you right back" I have to get off my computer now, I'm not allowed to play with all of you today!

 (not actually me, she's much older than me!) 

Have a wonderful weekend!

P.S. If you're gonna sincere about it. Don't go behind my back and make it into some big joke. We're adults. Well apparently I'm the only adult in the situation. How's Jr high going? Having fun with it? Douchecanoe

I need to make me a McSpicy siggy now! It's my new name thanks to this genius woman I know. 



The Redheaded Stepchild said...

I would like to add a heartfelt SCREW YOU, YOU SELF-CENTERED JACKASS.

Ok, I feel better now. Sorry about the computer shoulder. :( Glad the sis is doing so well. But with a dog like that?? Wow, how could she not?

June said...

I wouldn't mind kicking some douchecanoe ass!! That sounds like a great time to me!!

The puppy is so cute. My son & his fiance have a little purse pup name Lola. What a doll.

Rest that shoulder honey, you may be needing it this weekend to help Mr.Man.

McSpicey - LOVE IT!

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

I'm honored..wiping tears from my eyes...for bestowing your new name and entry into my "gang" of the Ninja Jew Crew..welcome my the force be with you.

Daffy said...

Can I just get a WHOOT WHOOT for your post script?1? takes such a big person to be catty and malicious behind someones back. Someday I want to have a back bone as strong as that! NOT

saying nasty things behind my back just makes me the better keep on yabbering you stupid cow! (not you blondie...that was a general you....yaknow?)

HeatherLynn said...

McSpicy! oh, girl, that fits you! to a "T"....

I'm digging it....

i'm glad your sister is starting to recover! I think I gave my family i similar scare when I went through my divorce....I withdrew from everyone...stayed in bed and cried a's a process...and when we DO finally bounce back, I like to think we are a breath of fresh air....looking at life like a whole new thing than before!

give my best to your sis, she got a raw deal....but divorce is a second chance, not a failure.


adrienzgirl said...

Your ex BIL sounds like a real catch! I'd like him to catch my round house kick with his balls. Oh...wait. He ain't got those. Chin up dickwad...Momma's got a roundhouse for your chin. After that? Throat style. And I got an ice cream scoop for your little black heart.

But the puppies? My loves them!

Deelsu said...

love the pug pictures. That sucks about your sister but glad she got a little pooch to help her through it!
Yes, this weather sucks!

MommyLovesStilettos said...

Douchecanoe! I LOVE IT!

I'm glad your sister is smiling again :)

Leiah said...

Sorry about your shoulder - that totally blows! Oh my gravy...could that little Sophie be any cuter? My parents took my yorkie to take care of her when That Man had cancer last year and now won't give her back! Said she's happier there with them since someone is home with her all the time and she can play with their yorkie. Man, how do you argue with that logic? Your sister sounds like she's definitely gonna make it - good for her!

And did I miss something? Hope everything is alright!

Tracie said...

McSpicy is an awesome name! Wish I had thought of it first. (I need a new alter ego.)

I'm glad you sister is bouncing back. Her ex sounds like a real POS.

Danica said...

OMG I'm so using douchecanoe!!! Love it!!!

Love the fire in you today. HA

That's sad about your sister. But she's better off without the ex. I hope the Morkie makes things better for her. Pets have a way of making us so happy!

FROGGITY! said...

hope your shoulder feels better soon, and that your sister comes through all of that with flying colors.

i want all of the above dogs. pleeze to send me them.

Aleta said...

I have two ex's... and I think you did the "ex's" of the world good justice in this blog. Good for you! And GOOD FOR YOUR SISTER! I'm glad that she's coming out of this and has a little bundle of fur to help her smile. And my gosh - what a cute little dog!!

Small Town Girl said...

Get that shoulder better incase you need to head to that dark alley. I love your posts. I always come away with a new vocabulary word. It's kinda like word of the day. Lovin' it!

That puppy will heal a lot!

Chelle said...

Hope your shoulder feels better, honey!

And I am so happy for your sister. She deserves to be happy--and her ex sounds like a BASTARD. Ugh. What a jerk.


Tattoos and Teething Rings said...

What a douchebag of an ex-brother-in-law you have. Good riddance.

I do love the pup, so sweet, you really can't stay bummed with that mug around :)

Danielle said...

A friend of mine's husband left her during her 3rd bout with cancer. With no insurance. Must be the same dirtbag.
Lost on the behind the back stuff. Fill me on so I can be a part of the hate the bitch stuff! :)

Lluvia said...

Glad your sister is moving on!! I had a similar brother in law. He's nasty and horrible and in JAIL!! He's someone's bitch, now!!!

Alicia said...

grrrrr that greasy douchcanoe!!! lemme at em! but YAY for adorable puppies who bring love and happiness!! i can't wait to see pics of her new baby girl!! and i hope you're feeling better love! talk to you tomorrow:) queso- that's me, remember?- loves you!

Lisa said...

I am convinced that the men of my generation were somehow warped during their formative years. So many of them just leave their wives...and always at the worse time, stealing the money and taking it with them. My ex left me TWICE, both times when I was pregnant. He finally left me when my boys were 2 and 7 months old. My BFF's hubby left her the day they sold their house, he took the money, and transfered it to his grand parents and put it in their name.

Prayers of peace and healing for your sister.

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