Showing posts with label drugs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label drugs. Show all posts

Meet Me on Monday and 30 Days of Truth...day

July 26, 2010

You should go by Java's blog and check out the Meet Me On Monday!


Questions:

1. What one food could you eat every single day?
Mexican...anything Mexican! You can add a margarita to that order...please!



2. Do you wear glasses or contacts? 
Glasses, only when I read though (unless I forget to take them off lol)!



3. What kind of cell phone do you have?
Blackberry Tour...can't live without it



4. What did you have for dinner last night?
We went to a pig pickin' (my first) so we had pulled pork and all the fixin's!


Whew...thank God they didn't have a whole pig on the grill...I wouldn't have been able to eat it lol! Love that pic though! Found it on Google!

5. What is your favorite candy?
Watermelon (or almost any other flavor) Jolly Ranchers! Once I start eating them...I can't stop!  





Today is day 8 of my 30 days of truth. I can't tell y'all how therapeutic this meme has been for me. I'm having fun with it!  

Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

I could really go off with this one, but for the sake of my own sanity I'm not going to. I guess this one would have to go to my ex. I met him when my son was 2. I know that this is going to sound so cliche' but the first time that I saw him I just knew that we were destined to be together. For real y'all, I swear I thought I heard a choir singing lol. I didn't even meet him that day, I just saw him. It took me two weeks to talk my sister into introducing me to him. He was recently separated and well to be honest, I was a bit of a "player!" (or so my sister thought) She honestly said that he was too good for me.

I have to explain the "player" thing though. I'd been hurt so many times that I wasn't about to let anyone do it to me again. So I would break things off with a guy before he could. Yeah...it was my "I'm gonna hurt you before you can hurt me stage!"

She finally introduced us two weeks after I first saw him. He came to my sisters house (with his 5 and 6 year old daughters) and we played cards. We saw each other every day after that for almost two months before he left to go on a vacation with his family. The week that he was gone was one of the most miserable weeks of my life lol. My sister and her husband (I lived with them) were just as miserable. We all missed him like crazy!!

He ended up cutting his vacation short by three days because apparently he missed me just as much. YAY! I think he was the first guy that didn't try to have sex with me on the first date, or the second, or the thrid. Two months. Months. I loved that about him.

We ended up moving in together not long after the vacation. I'd never been that in love with someone in all my life. And I was just in love with his kids. They started calling me momma about two weeks after we started dating. They had my heart.

Eight months into our living together I found out that he was talking to his ex that he was separated from. I was crushed. Heartbroken. But I bowed out gracefully. I loved him enough that I wanted him to be happy, even if it wasn't with me. His psycho wife started sending me crazy letters in the mail, they were typed on brown paper bags and the return address was 666 Cemetery Highway crazy! AFTER I left...and she had him back...and this  bitch started harassing me. Don't worry, two years later I whipped her ass!  You can talk about me all you like but when you start putting my sons name on those brown paper bags, we've got an issue. And I DON'T forget. I only had to wait to years to find her ass out in a bar!

Five years later we found out that each other was once again single. We started seeing each other again and within two months we were living together again.  

He'd changed a lot over those five years. When we first got back together he had this young couple living with him. My sister and I stopped by his house one night cause he said they were having a party. There were teenagers every where. Those kids were tearing up his house, one girl actually threw up in his bed. It was a hot mess. By the end of the night the teenagers were running out the back door and the cops (noise complaint) were knocking on the front door. That should have been my first clue. But, here's the man that I'd loved so much that I chose to ignore a lot of things I shouldn't have.

He's started smoking weed. I always knew it but chose to ignore it. He'd smoke it in front of his kids. I couldn't stand that. There was no way he was doing that in front of my son. And he didn't. I guess about 5 years into our relationship there was a knock at our door, it was the cops.

His 17 year old daughter wanted to move in with us and there was nothing her mom could do to stop her so she told the cops that we got a "shipment" of weed every Friday and that we sold to minors. Lyin' bitch.

Our house was raided. In front of my son and my Godchild were there. We had about 10-12 cops searching everywhere. They found less than an ounce of weed.  We were both arrested. Yup, I was arrested and handcuffed, in front of my son and my Godchild. For weed that I didn't even smoke. (Yeah, I'd tried it. Hell I even liked it for a while, but that was years before this.)

I don't think I ever forgave him for that. Having to go to court and being found guilty. Having that on my record. For being put on probation for two years for his bs. Uugh. Want to know the funny part? Two months later we got married. Lol...

Drugs and alcohol were a big part of his life. I just chose to overlook it. Instead of standing up for myself and demanding that he quit I just overlooked it. I started noticing that when he was on (pain) pills or when he was drinking that he was mean, hateful, spiteful...just nasty mean.

The longer we were together the worse it got. It was like a sport to him, and the bigger audience he had, the worse it was. I'll never forget my first xmas without my Mom my whole family came to our house for xmas day. He got drunk. He was just mean to me for the sake of being mean. He humiliated me in front of my family. I sat there in front of everyone and cried.

That was the day that I realized that I wasn't going to take it anymore. Two can play this game. It just went downhill from there. We fought all the time. Never had nothing nice to say to each other. It was just abusive all the way around.

This is also the same time that I realized that there was something seriously wrong with me. I was having a lot of muscle pain, numbness in my "limbs" and just really weird shit going on with my body. I went to my family doctor and the minute I told him my symptoms he said "You have fibromyalgia!" Just to be on the safe side he tested me for MS, Lupis and every other frickin' thing you can think of. He was right the first time.

I took it hard. All I could think about when being tested for MS was "What if I end up in a wheel chair? This is who I'm supposed to depend on to take care of me? Just imagine how abusive he'd be then!" When I went home and told him what the final results were he said "You might as well as kill yourself now and get it over with!"

The worst  part was I had to sleep with my meds hidden in my pillow case every night. They were his first love at this point. Honestly, I don't know how I could have been so stupid to have not realized that he was sneaking in them. Once I had to get an injection in my neck which meant that he had to take me to the hospital and bring me home because I was sedated. Once he got me home he went straight to the drug store and filled my Rx's! Pain meds. The next day I realized that he'd taken half the bottle before he gave them to me. He stashed them for later.

It got so bad that (because I couldn't work at the time) the only way he would let me fill my Rx's was if I gave him half of them. He'd paid for them after all. That was his thinking. If he paid for them then he should get half of them.

He used to love to light a small fire in our back yard and sit out there and drink during the winter. At this point he was so bad off on pills that he would fall asleep out there and I wouldn't be able to wake him up. It would take me over an hour to get him up and in the house. It disgusted me to see him like that. It was, in one word, pathetic.

I'd never even thought about this until my sister said it to me but she told me "Dee, if he od's on your pills, you can go to jail!" I'd already been to jail once for his ass, I wasn't about to do it again. I left. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done. But I was (and am) so proud of myself for having the strength to just walk away. It was the best decision for both of us.

I immediately filed for a divorce. The only thing I asked for in our divorce was my car. I wasn't going to take anything from him. I just wanted out. We were granted our divorce two months later.

Two months after our divorce I found out that he was seeing his ex wife. Yeah, the psycho bitch that he was married to before me. Haha. They were married a couple of months later and within 6 months of their wedding she was preggers with their son. His daughters were 23 and 24 at the time they had their son. His grandson is older than his son lol.

But, his wife has done some good for himl. Apparently (NOT) he's off drugs. (Bitch is blind! I saw him the last time I went home, he was loaded on pills. I mean...fucker is slurring his words! HELLOOO). And he's really slowed down on the drinking. (HA right!) She wont allow it.

More power to 'em!

Whew...that was a long one huh? If you're still reading this...I lubs ya! You're the best! I'm gonna close by saying "I hate half truths!" Just sayin'.............

Award Time or I Told A B*tch Off Today...And It Feels Good!

April 29, 2010



The Rules are to share 10 {honest} things about myself and pass along the love to 10 other's…easy enought!

*There is not a day that goes by that I don't realize one more reason why I'm madly in love with my husband.
*Yesterday I told my best friend (of 10 years) the eff off. I doubt she'll call me again. To be honest, I could really care less if she does. She'll probably never let me see my God Children again, but it's her loss. Hell, I was one of the few "positive" things in those kids life. Story soon!
*I'm busy designing another layout for my blog. I can't wait to finish it. When I start on a layout I'm obsessed with it until I get it exactly the way that I want it.
*I've been crafting up a storm lately, and it's been FUN!
*Last Sunday I cooked for the first time in over a month. I've missed it.
*My Son told me the other night that he's started saving up to buy/build a house and buy some property. He's 20. 20! Really...what 20 year old is thinking about buying a house? He makes me so proud.
*I just signed up for a twitter account today. Someone had already taken my Homesick Cajun name damn it. I took a look around and honestly, I wasn't impressed. I doubt I'll even sign back in.
*I was asked today to host a giveaway. I'm super excited!!
*I can't wait until September. I get to meet THREE fellow bloggers, I'm so freakin' excited!! (Only 124 Days, 2994 Hours, 179672 Minutes, 10780342 Seconds until I go "home"!!)
*I really want to learn how to be a better photographer!

Now to pass the love onto some fellow bleeps:

Julie - 47 and Starting Over
Jamie - Dave, Jamie and Dawson
Danica - Happy Girl
Em - Heart and Hairspray
Keeper of the Skies Wife - I'm so sorry but I dont' know your name!
MiMi - Living in France
Gail - Louisiana Belle
Margen - Simply Southern
Leiah - A Southern Bell Trying Not To Rust
Chelle - The Winey Mommy

So the story about telling the best friend off? Welll...she called me yesterday and we were just chatting away when she asked about my son. So I begin to tell her how he's doing. She proceeds to interrupt me to tell me how effin' cute my ex's new baby is. Honestly, he is adorable. But I could care less. My conversations with her should not include any info about my ex. I don't want to talk about him...at all. He hated her so she shouldn't want to talk about him either.

She tells me that she knows that he hated her when he and I were together but that they had a long talk and now they're "all good!" I'm thinking...*Great! So now you're all bff with my ex, the one that you saw abuse me every single time we got together. The one that made me cry more tears than I think I've ever cried?? Thanks! You're a great bff!*

She then says "That's a good effin' man you let get away girl, I don't care what you say. And he's as sexy as F*CK!" Whew...y'all the bitch from hell jumped out of me before I could stop her.

"He's an abusive drunk! He's an effin' drug addict! (come to think of it, she is too so her saying this to me shouldn't surprise me in the least!) You, of all people were there, you KNOW, you SAW, what he did to me. How can you say I effin' I messed up??" "Are you out of your ever lovin' mind?"

For the plain fact that you're my bff you should hate him for hurting me the way he did.

I have to say this...he only hit me once. But the verbal, the emotional and the mental abuse took place from the time he woke up until the time he passed out.

And I know that a lot of people don't consider that "real" abuse, all I can say to you is live it. You go through it and then tell me it's not real!

I loved that man. Like I've never loved anyone. I gave him my all. Everything I had in me went to him. You know how they say when you meet "the one" you'll know? That's how it was with him. I swear the first time I met him, when he got out of his car...I heard angels singing. That's how it was with him. I put him up on a nice little pedestal that he destroyed into a million little pieces!

It was great. Until the drinking, until the drugs, until the abuse.

I don't think I'll ever forgive her for those words coming out of her mouth. I mean, how can you be my best friend and not hurt for me when I went through that? Especially when you were there to witness so much of it.

This is all coming from a woman who left her husband after he was in a horrific accident, unable to walk, unable to talk, unable to fight for you? The night he was in the accident while we were at the first hospital (before he was transferred to a trauma center) and they were trying to stabilize him to move him, she was outside on the phone cancelling the plans she had the next day with her boyfriend. Ugh.

So, the list of my IRL friends seems to have just gotten shorter. Great!

(Tomorrow I'll post the convo I had with my amazing husband after I got off the phone with the bff and sat here crying over it!! Now HE'S a real man. The perfect man for me!!)