The Downhome Cajun: My Husband Is So

I know that everyone gets sick of me talking about how perfect Mr Man is all the time so I thought I'd take part in (another one of) Lee's great idea(s) "My husband is so..."

If you don't know about Lee already ~~what rock have you been living under?~~ She's this amazeballs chick over at Headaches, Hormones and Hotflashes. Go check her out....she's hilarious!

So... if I had to search ~~finding a flaw in this man is not an easy task~~ for a "flaw" in him it would have to be ~~hands down~~ his road rage!

Here's a list of offenses that can set him off quicker than shit:

* Driving slow in the left lane - COME ON BUDDY!!! If you want to drive that f*cking slow that's what the f*cking right lane is for you f*cking moron! (Sexy right? The "sailor" comes out of him when he's driving! It's hot in an Officer and A Gentleman kinda way!)

*Talking on the cell phone/text messaging - Oh boy! You've done it now! You've opened up a can of worms with this one! HANG UP THE F*CKING PHONE AND DRIVE!!!

*Pulling out in front of him - You're so F*CKING lucky that he doesn't ram his F150 up your ass...wow that totally doesn't sound right! You get the point though...

*The speed up/slow down dance - Really? I try to pass you up and you speed up, then you slow down, then you speed up...you Redneck piece of shit!

*Not using your blinkers/turn signals - Hey "Nice turn signal asshole!" God...he's good with words aint he?

* People weaving in and out of the lane they're in -This COULD mean they're drinking and driving, but chances are they're ~~f*cking~~ text messaging which we've covered already but I'll reiderate...

Tailgating - Would you like to buy us a new truck dickwad?? Cause I'll totally slam on my brakes if you'd like to rear end us. Ok...that doesn't sound right either!

*Those ~~$200 pieces of shit~~ cars with the ~~$1000 stereo~~ LOUD ass music...so loud that all we can hear is this horrible vibrating noise, seriously dude that car is gonna fall apart one day from all the vibrations! Thanks for sharing how you're gonna slap your ho, pop a cap in dudes ass all while smoking a slpiff!! Even though we may find your music touching we're already listening to our radio and that vibrating...really it's starting toooo...oops! Never mind!

*Tapping your brakes - Damn it! Did your momma drop you on your head or something when you were little?? WTF are you doing?

* Cutting us off - Oh no you Di'int!!

In short people, if you happen to be on the road with us please have some respect, don't you know that MR MAN is on the road? Bow to the king damn it! ~~hehehe love you baby!~~

All of these offenses will normally result in yelling,

Shooting of the bird,

The fist pump in a Jersey Shore kind of way... ~~so not attractive babe!!~~

The hurry up and pass them up only to pull up next to them and "mean muggin" them or my favorite, the shaking of the head! ~~Ooohh...that really told them! Can't you just see the fear on their faces? Especially that 80 year old lady who should have lost her license 30 years ago!!! You showed her!! Lol... love you baby!~~

Lol...all joking aside going on a simple trip to VA is a pain in the ass. We get so little time to spend together and when we do if were going anywhere, he's ~~acting like~~ he's the Incredible ~~road raging~~ Hulk! It kind of makes for a shitty day! I just don't see the point of all the yelling and shit! ~~It's so romantical and shit yo!~~ Don't get me wrong, I'll totally tell your ass off if you cut me off or such but I don't do it with ~~almost~~ every.single.car!

The only time I don't mind his road rage is when we're on the Harley. Seriously people you REALLY have to watch for bikes...you can't just pull out in front of one damn it! Then you'll see ME turn into a bad ass biker chick lol.

But...if that's the only flaw that I can find in Mr Man ~~I know, you hate me~~ then I should just consider me lucky! And hell...maybe the bumper sticker he has on the back of his truck is true....

The last time he got pulled over the cop really liked that one! (No he doesn't get pulled over all the time) Lol...I guess it's better than the one on his back window..

Oh the things you can find at bike week lol! His actually says "you don't have to be dead to donate your organ." And really, that's totally lame compaired to the ones on his motorcycle helmet! WOW!

So that's my "My Husband Is..." story! If you're like to buy a book of Road Rage Cards you can do so here. Cause really...when you're driving and you get road rage there's nothing better than pulling out a book of cards that you have to look at and flip through to find the one that will express how you're feeling while.you're.driving lol! I'll leave you with a few more of the lovely road rage posters!